Purim Gets a Boost

Regular readers of my blog know by now that I have made it my mission to champion lesser known...or at least lesser promoted...Jewish holidays. In particular, I have been trying to raise Purim to the exalted status that it truly deserves. So, I applaud Senator Barney Frank for dropping a Purim reference this past Friday at a breakfast with reporters sponsored by the Christian Science Monitor. He commented on the Republican party's attempts to make voters believe that only they love President Obama, while the Democratic congress is steering the president in the wrong direction. He said, "Nancy Pelosi is not Haman, Barack Obama is not King Ahashuerus, and John Boehner is certainly not Queen Esther."

Sen. Frank's comment was certainly apt, but what was more impressive was the cavalier way Frank dropped the seasonal reference (Purim is March 10 this year). He didn't back up and say, "...you know, like in the Bible?" It was the best press Purim has received in recent years since Christopher Guest based "For Your Consideration" around the fictional movie "Home for Purim."

By the way, I still have "For Your Consideration" waiting for me on my DVR. I feel terrible that I missed it the first time around, and I still haven't watched it. I hang my head in shame. What kind of Purim enthusiast am I?

Tu B'Shevat Bars

Chag Sameach! Happy Tu B'Shevat.

One of my traditions every year for Tu B'Shevat (the new year of the trees) is making Tu B'Shevat Bars. This recipe contains fruits from all three 'species': hard outer shell (orange, nuts), hard inner pit (dates), and entirely edible (carob, raisins, figs). The recipe uses fruits primarily found in Israel.

I do warn you, however...these bars are addictive.

Tu B'Shevat Bars

1 cup raisins
1/2 cup chopped dates
1/2 cup chopped figs
1/3 cup orange juice
zest of 1 orange
2 eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup honey
1 Tbs. vanilla extract
1/2 cup carob powder
1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground clove
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans)

In a small bowl, combine the raisins, dates, figs, orange juice, and orange zest. Set this aside.

In a large bowl, beat eggs, oil, and sugar on a medium speed with an electric mixer. Add the honey slowly while continuing to beat on a medium speed. Beat in vanilla and carob powder until creamy. Stir in flour, spices, baking soda, baking powder, and salt until well mixed. Stir in nuts and fruit mixture by hand.

Spoon into a well-greased and floured 13 x 9 inch baking pan. Bake at 325 degrees F 30 to 35 degrees or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Let cool completely and cut into bars. Yields about 40 bars.

Note: this recipe contains honey, which means that it will overbake if not watched carefully. Check the bars after 25 minutes, and then check every 4-5 minutes after that.

Chag Sameach!

A belated Chanukah Sameach. And a Happy Gregorian New Year.

Happy Thanksgiving

Egads. Two months have passed without a blog entry. Why is it that good habits, like exercising, eating right, and blogging, are so much harder to get back into once you get out of them? It just isn't fair. I got out of the habit of staying up late and eating too many desserts over the summer, and now I'm right back into them like no time passed.

Speaking of writing, my Yearly T'ruah (our family newsletter) never got written for the High Holidays, so I am going to make sure it gets sent out before Chanukah. We still call the newsletter the Yearly T'ruah, even when it gets sent out during Purim (in March) simply because it reminds me that a) Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the most important holidays of the year, b) you're late, you idiot, you're late again.

It keeps me humble.

But anyway, we're gearing up now for our Friday Thanksgiving meal. As I mentioned in previous blog entries, my inlaws always have our big meal on Friday so my sister-in-law can have Thanksgiving dinner with HER in-laws on Thursday. It's a simple fix that works for everybody's schedule, and it usually results in having non-traditional meals on Thanksgiving proper. Last night, I made a spinach, tomato, and feta frittata.

Thanksgiving is always a communal affair with my in-laws. No matter who is actually hosting it, the cooking responsibilities are evenly distributed for our Friday meal. This way, no one is stuck with all the cooking duties, and everyone feels a connection to the meal. Furthermore, this way there are more compliments to go around. ("Oh, you liked the salt and pepper? Thank your uncle. He brought them.")

This year, we have a new addition to the family...and therefore, a new guest at the meal. My niece Rowan is 2-months old, which means that she will be the center of attention. Naturally, this means that her sister Dana, who is almost 3, will be forced to dump her plate of food on her head at some point during the meal to regain her rightful place as focal point. This, of course, will result in both of my sons laughing hysterically until one of them starts choking, repositioning one or both of them as the new center of attention. And then Rowan will start crying because there is too much noise. And then we will all have pie.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy Thanksgiving.

Chag Sameach!

Chag Sameach! Lshana tova tikatevu! Have a happy and healthy new year.

Happy Birthday Israel!

A belated Happy Birthday to the State of Israel. 60 years old. Amazing. So young!

May you live to 120...and beyond.

Peanut Butter Matzah Crunch

Well, we're rounding the curve on Pesach. Tonight was the sixth night. This means that we've used up the last of the Streitz's Passover coffee cakes and my family is clamoring for something new for breakfast. Even if we had another coffee cake, I don't think anyone could stomach another piece of almost-streusel topping.

My trick with the kosher for Passover coffee cakes is to mix a banana into the batter. This makes the coffee cake extra moist and it adds some nutritional value to...well...a breakfast of non-vitamin enriched simple carbs. But, now what do I do?

I came up with a new recipe tonight. I like it, but I'll test it on the kids in the morning. I call it Peanut Butter Matzah Crunch because that's about as descriptive a name as I can come up with. It can serve as breakfast or late-day snack. And frankly, it's no worse for you than the coffee cakes. It's got peanut butter and honey. What could be bad? I thought about adding flax seeds to the recipe, but I figured I'd give my family a break.

The nice thing about this recipe is that as it cools, the caramelized honey coating makes the matzah crispy. I haven't tested the recipe with milk, however, to see if the coating keeps the matzah crispy when wet.

"Crispy when wet" is not a phrase I ever thought I'd use on a blog. But I digress...

PEANUT BUTTER MATZAH CRUNCH

3 cups matzah farfel
2 Tbs. canola oil (or other pesadic cooking oil)
2 Tbs. peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cocoa powder


Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a 2-quart saucepan combine oil, honey, peanut butter, and salt. Simmer, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add to the farfel. Stir until the farfel is coated evenly. Spread onto a non-stick cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes, stirring frequently (every 3-4 minutes) to prevent burning. Remove and cool. Break up any large chunks with a spatula. Store in an air-tight container.

Happy Passover

Chag Sameach, everyone. Happy Holidays.

We had our second night seder tonight. It was a small, short affair with just the immediate family...plus about five stuffed animal and dolls that my sons set up on the other end of the table with a children's Haggadah propped on one of the doll's laps. Just a typical dinner in our house.

We went to a family friend's house for the first night seder up in South Bend. We haven't seen most of them since last year at Pesach, so it was great to see them all again. Of course, by the end of the seder, we're all getting punchy. After the seder meal as we were nearing the hallel (songs of praise near the end of the seder), after everyone was questioning whether they should have had that last macaroon or piece of chocolate torte, as everyone was calculating the number of pages left in the Haggadah, I said...just loudly enough for my side of the table to hear... "if you roll doubles three times, you have to go back to page 26." Everyone thought it was pretty funny. Or maybe it was the fourth cup of wine kicking in.

Micah sang the Four Questions this year and did an outstanding bang-up job. I was so proud. Older brother Omri had to do them for a couple of years before Micah was old enough, and I'm sure he's happy to pass on the torch. Of course, my friend Rafi, who is about seven years my junior, had to say the Four Questions for 26 years straight until Omri finally took it over from him. I remember when Omri first recited the Four Questions at the seder. Everybody was very impressed. Rafi was ecstatic.

Yes, Pesach is a time to be thankful. I'm mostly thankful that my weigh-in day for the Biggest Loser contest was one day BEFORE the first night of Pesach. This is definitely NOT the holiday to try to lose weight. I think Jews are single-handedly supporting the egg industry this week. I love reading recipes for Pesadic (kosher for Passover) sponge cakes that start with 9 eggs. Yeaaaahhh! Now, that's a celebration!

It might be time to get my cholesterol level checked soon. But not for another week. And then it's back to eating water.

The Purim Fool

Yes, that's me...dressed as a hamantaschen. I made the costume the night before Purim. Technically, I made it the morning of Purim, which kind of shows. But for a costume conceived, designed, and constructed between 11:30pm and 2 am, it's pretty good.

I wore it to Purim services Thursday night, and then I wore it again at the Purim carnival today. It's all about putting your money where your mouth is. It's one thing to espouse the joys of Jewish ritual to your own children and to the kindergarten kids you are teaching at religious school, but until they see their supposedly respectable grown-up teacher walking around dressed like a big folded cookie, it's all academic. My goal is to teach them...and their parents...and everyone else at our synagogue...that Purim is not just a pediatric holiday. It's for everyone. Even respectable teachers like myself.

I got a lot of praise for the costume from my friends at synagogue. But mostly I got a lot of grief from people who watched me try to sit down in the pews in the costume. Let's just say that it did not work. I ended up standing for the entire service.

Speaking of making a fool of himself, Senator John McCain was in the news recently. Poor McCain. He was just trying to show support for Israel in a press conference with Ehud Barak by commenting on the impact of the rocket fire on the children in the area. He said, "As they celebrate their version of Halloween here, they are somewhere close to a 15-second warning, which is the amount of time they have from the time the rocket is launched to get to safety."

Yep, that's right folks. Purim is our "version of Halloween." The entire Book of Esther and centuries of ritual have been reduced to a second-rate version of All Hallow's Eve.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, who was traveling with McCain, had to quickly correct McCain and explain to him the significance of the holiday. Lieberman took responsibility for the gaffe, saying that he had compared the holidays to McCain earlier.

I realize what happened, of course. On the flight over to Israel, Lieberman was probably trying to prep McCain for the pending news conference.

Lieberman: "...Oh, and John, you should probably mention something about Purim. It'll improve your street cred with the Israelis."
McCain: "Purim? What's that?"
Lieberman: "It's a Jewish holiday that starts Thursday night. I guess you could think of it as a Jewish version of Halloween. On Purim, we read the Book of Esther from the Bible. We celebrate how brave Queen Esther saved the Jewish people from Haman, the prime minister of Persia. See, he hated the Jews and wanted to kill them all...kind of like Al Qaeda in Iraq. It's a fun, joyous holiday celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating special cookies called hamantaschen, and making noise whenever anyone mentions Haman's name."
McCain: "...wait, I'm writing this down (mumbling) Jewish...version...of...Halloween. Got it. Thanks, Joe."

I could just hear Lieberman thinking to himself later, "Thank God I didn't mention the part where we get drunk."

Mango Hamantaschen

Chag Sameach! Happy Purim!

I'm participating in a Biggest Loser contest at work (losing weight, of course), and our weigh-in day is Friday morning. Let me tell you, it's just not fair having Purim the night before a weigh-in day. But I was good. I had only two hamantaschen all day and I didn't inbibe in any alcohol.

But I've weighed in now...and the weekend starts tonight...so I'm extending my Purim celebration until Saturday night. I'm sure there must be a responsa out there for extending Purim through the weekend if it comes mid-week before a weigh-in day. There must be. I'm seeing single malt scotch in my future.

Last weekend I catered a lunch at our synagogue. It was a "fiesta" theme, which basically meant Latin American food from Mexico and Venezuela. As part of the dessert, I baked two kinds of tropical, parve hamantaschen: mango and pineapple. The pineapple filling was simply pineapple preserves from a jar, but the mango filling was rather inspired. The recipe is below:

Mango Hamantaschen

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 eggs, beaten
2 Tbs orange juice
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup butter
Mango filling

Mango filling:
3 ripe mangoes (each about 3/4 pound)
1 Tbs fresh lime juice
2 Tbs sugar
1 tsp corn starch mixed with 2 tsp water

Peel and cut flesh from mangoes, discarding pits. In a blender or food processor purée mango with the lime juice and 2 Tbs sugar until smooth. Heat sauce over a low to medium flame, stirring constantly. Add the corn starch and cook until it thickens to your desired consistency. This recipe makes a lot of filling, but you can always freeze the extra.

Sift or mix well the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
In a separate bowl, mix together eggs, margarine, juice, and vanilla extract.
Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and mix together. If the dough is too sticky, add a little more flour and cover.
Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.
Roll out dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Cut into circles with a 2 ½-inch round cookie cutter.
Put ¾ tsp of filling in the center of the circle. Shape into triangles using a standard hamantaschen fold.
Preheat oven to 325ºF. Bake on a parchment-lined cookie sheet for 10 to 12 minutes, until edges are golden brown. Cook on a rack.

The Best Jewish Holiday You Never Heard Of

Now that we are many weeks past the hoopla of St. Valentines Day, I have a confession to make. I don't particularly like this holiday. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE the idea of a holiday that celebrates love and friendship. I LIKE placing a dot on the calendar to remind you to appreciate what and who you have. And I can pretty much put up with the crass commercialism and institutionalized guilt inherent in the season ("If you truly loved your wife, you'd forget about retirement, take out a loan, and buy her a diamond.").

No, I have other issues.

First of all, my tolerance for pink is pretty low.

Second of all, a holiday that once focused on love and relationships, has become an excuse to force kids to send each other cards with Charms Blowpops or Pixie Stix attached. What truly is the purpose of this?

And third of all, this is, and should be, a Catholic holiday. The history of the holiday is lengthy and fascinating, and the well-known legend of the St. Valentine who left the famous missive, "from your Valentine," before being executed by the Roman Emperor Claudius II, adds a certain amount of color to a holiday now known for hearts, flowers, and chocolate.

So, why is it that so many Jews also celebrate this holiday? Does this holiday fill a void not addressed by our own celebrations? Do we yearn for our own day of love? Is there NO holiday in the Jewish calendar that could be called the Jewish Valentine's Day?

It turns out that there is such a holiday. It's called Tu B'Av (15th of the Month of Av). How is it, that such a wonderful holiday could all but disappear from our calendar? Why did no one tell me about this? In Israel, the holiday has been getting a commercial rebirth. But outside of Israel...bupkes.

Tu B'Av comes in the middle of the summer, and in 2008, it will come on Saturday, August 16 (starting the evening before on Friday). Tu B'Av is known as the happiest day of the year. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel is quoted in the Mishnah as saying, "There were no better (i.e. happier) days for the people of Israel than the Fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur, since on these days the daughters of Israel/Jerusalem go out dressed in white and dance in the vineyards. What were they saying: Young man, consider whom you choose (to be your wife)…"( Taanit, Chapter 4).

You heard me right. Tu B'Av has all the power of Yom Kippur, but instead of not eating all day, you wear a white dress and go dancing. Wow.

Basically, six days after Tisha B'Av, the Jewish celebration of everything-going-wrong-all-in-one-day, we get Tu B'Av, a holiday that actually celebrates a bunch of GOOD things. For example:

• When the Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land from passing to other tribes. However on Tu B'Av, they could marry whomever they wanted. And many went for the studs from the tribe of Naphtali.
  
• The Tribe of Benjamin was allowed to intermarry with the other tribes on Tu B'Av, which generally wasn't done because of nasty civil war between the tribes.


• Tu B'Av signifies the ATONEMENT for the sin of the Spies...you know, that horrible sin responsible for the 40 years of wandering in the desert. Ten advance scouts came back bearing such negative reports that it reduced the entire nation to mass panic. As a result of the sin of Not Showing Good Decorum, it was decreed by God that the nation would remain in the desert for 40 years, and that no person 20 or older would be allowed to enter Israel. On Tu B'Av, we celebrate the commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Trust Anyone Over 20."

It goes on like that. On Tu B'Av, by the glow of a full summer moon, young women, robed in white, would go out and dance in the fields outside the walls of Jerusalem. The men would follow in the hopes of finding a bride. Holidays just don't come any better than that. I couldn't MAKE UP a holiday this classy.

So, why did it disappear outside of Israel? I don't know, and I don't care. All that matters is that we bring it back. Now. With a vengeance.

Gentleman...it's up to us. This August 16th, treat your bashert with chocolate and flowers and buy her a nice white dress (although you might want to wait on the chocolate if she's wearing the white dress). Do it up right. We don't NEED Valentine's Day. We've got our OWN day.

To get the holiday started off properly, you can make her Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones. Trust me, nothing says romance like chocolate AND raspberries. If you bring her breakfast in bed with these scones, you are pretty well golden for the rest of the season.

Here's the recipe:

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1/3 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

6 Tbs. unsalted butter, chilled

1/2 cup milk

1 large egg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

3 oz. semisweet baking chocolate

1/2 cup frozen raspberriess

Preheat oven to 375 F. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

In a larger bowl, stir together the flour, brown sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Cut the butter into 1/2 inch cubes and distribute them over the flour mixture. Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a separate bowl, stir together the milk, egg, and vanilla. Add the milk mixture to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Chop the baking chocolate into small chunks, and stir into the dough. In a blender or food processor, chop up the still-frozen raspberries and fold them into the dough.

Using a 1/3 cup measuring cup, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet leaving about 2-3 inches between scones. Bake for 16 to 18 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Happy Belated Tu B'Shevat

I tend to send a lot of belated greetings on this blog. At least this time, I have an excuse...I was out of town on business during the holiday. It really was a shame. I really was looking forward to going to our synagogue's Tu B'Shevat seder and scarfing down lots of fruit. At least I got to have some fancy fruits at a breakfast buffet at the conference I was at. It was the first time I ever actually ate dragonfruit. And this starts my new Tu B'Shevat tradition (along with making Tu B'Shevat bars...which I will post at a later date). Every Tu B'Shevat, I need to try a new tree fruit or nut...something I've never eaten before. Of course, this means that next year, I need to start browsing the produce area of Saraga International Grocery long before the holiday.

One Night with the King

A couple of nights ago, I saw One Night with the King, a movie about the Book of Esther. Well, actually, the movie is based on the novel Hadassah: One Night with the King, by Tommy Tenney. But, since I've never read the book, nor do I plan to, I can only comment on the movie.

To be fair, I had ulterior motives in seeing the movie, and believe it or not, they were not Tiffany Dupont (seen on the left). Purim is the underdog of Jewish holidays. It's fun, it's raucous, it's frivolous, it's deeply philosophical, it's family-oriented, and you are commanded to get drunk. In Israel, it borders on Mardi Gras or Carnivale. In the U.S., it borders on obscurity. It just doesn't have the calendar real estate of Chanukah...you know, right next to Christmas. Frankly, it deserves much better than that, and I take every oppportunity to push my Purim agenda. Consider me a Purim champion.

So, naturally I jump at any movie that promotes, advertises, or in any way exposes Purim to the greater goyische public. Even if it simply retells a Biblical story. Even if it's made by Gener8xion Entertainment, a Christian company, with (potentially) an agenda separate from mine.

Back to the movie. Well, the movie could have been worse. That's not a ringing endorsement, but it's also not a scathing indictment. As a movie, it's not bad. It creates an entertaining love story out of an Biblical tale, and makes you believe that Esther's life is truly on the line as she goes to plead King Ahasuerus (well...Xerxes in the movie) for the lives of her people. Tiffany Dupont plays a spunky, buoyant Esther, and she is Jewish-looking enough to pull off the role. John Rhys-Davies as Mordechai is...well...John Rhys-Davies. He looks and sounds like Mordechai should sound, although you do keep expecting him to burst out with "Indy, my friend!" (a la Raiders of the Lost Ark). James Callis plays a suitably vengeful and evil Haman who hates the Jews with a passion due to the wrongs the Hebrews done to his people 500 years earlier. Yeah, it's nasty stuff, right out of the Bible.

The sets are gorgeous, the acting is decent, and, most importantly, the dialog is not as stilted as one would expect from a Biblical movie. I did like the fact that the movie was RELATIVELY faithful to the original story (the Bible, not the novel). Considering that the novel was written by a Pentecostal evangelist, I was not expecting a very faithful treatment of the material...or at least not a Jewish treatment.

However, the movie (or the novel) tries to turn the story into Midrash by adding some bizarre back story about a pending war with Greece. This would have worked better if the movie hadn't muddied the waters by mixing up some key plot elements in the story. I could just see fans of the original book shouting at the screen, "No, you fools! Mordechai hears about the decree AFTER refusing to bow down. After! After! After!" And of course, it has to add some typical Hollywood elements of mistaken identity and fear of infidelity.

For some reason, all of the secondary characters are played by Indians. It used to be that Italians and Jews were interchangeable in Hollywood. I guess in Biblical epics, Indians and Jews are interchangeable. I would have loved to see Aishwarya Rai play Esther. But anyway...

I guess my biggest beef is that I still have not seen a movie based on the Book of Esther that is truly faithful to the story. The story of Purim is one of the hottest, raciest, most exciting books of the Bible filled with vanity, honor, vengeance, love, bravery, and, of course, clan warfare. It doesn't need a Hollywood treatment.

But keep Tiffany.

Happy Low Salt Chanukah!

My mother came to visit this weekend for Chanukah. She is on a low salt diet, which always makes going out to restaurants a bit of challenge. However, we promised her that everything I cooked at home would be as low in salt as possible. Since Saturday night was designated "Latke Night," I had to come up with a tasty low-salt latke recipe.

Now one tack is to add savory spices to the latkes to create a new latke entity. Possibilities include:

Indian spices - curry powder, cumin, garam masala

Mexican spices - chili powder and picante

Italian spices - basil, oregano, thyme

Dill and mint

Now that I think about it, I should have tried dill, mint, parsley, and onion powder. The onion powder would give it a rounder, saltier flavor to balance out the bitterness of the dill. And hopefully, this could all be done without any added salt.

However, I didn't try any of the above. Instead, I substituted half of the russet potatoes with sweet potatoes. This gives the latke a slightly sweet dimension that makes up for much of the missing salt without making the whole dish noticeably sweet. One caveat...sweet potatoes do not bind together like russet potatoes, so you need to make sure you have enough egg in the mixture to hold everything together. I think the only way to make the dish using only sweet potatoes (and no white potatoes) is to add extra egg. Furthermore, it helps if you squeeze and shape the patties before frying them instead of simply ladling the potato mixture into the oil (which you can do if you only use white potatoes).

I must say that the latkes came out pretty well. Or at least I thought so. Shirah took a bite and immediately reached for the salt. The kids put ketchup on them. Of course, they put ketchup on everything. That's what happens when you are born in Minnesota. But I digress...

Yesterday at religious school, I taught the 5th graders how to make latkes. It was an interesting experiment in project management: trying to distribute tasks among 20 10-year olds. I divided up the room into four tables: two tables grated potatoes, one chopped onions, and one mixed the egg, matzah meal, and salt together. We only had one "grating" injury requiring a Band-aid (well, a couple of Band-aids in rapid succession) which really wasn't too bad considering that these were young children wielding sharp knives with a 1:7 adult:child ratio.

Personally, I thought the recipe had WAY too much salt in it. I'm not sure whether the kids read the recipe wrong, or if they read the recipe correctly and I just need to adjust the 2 tsp. to 1 tsp. However, my wife tried one later in the day. She commented, "They were really good. I noticed that they tasted a little different from the ones you make at home...but I couldn't pinpoint the difference."

"They had salt in them," I told her evenly.

"Ah..." she said with a voice that suddenly understood every dish I ever made in the past ten years.

I'm going to buy her a salt lick for the 8th night of Chanukah.

...Or Maybe Stick With Google During Chanukah

IN REGARDS TO YESTERDAY'S POST...

Shortly after I bragged to you all about Ask.com's Chanukah skin, they apparently pulled the skin from the site. So, now Ask.com has no reference to Chanukah whatsoever on the front page.

I give up. I'm going back to Google. And while I'm at it, I'm going to eat some trans fats.

Use Ask.com During Chanukah

Chag Sameah, y'all. Happy Chanukah.

I went to Google's Website this morning to see if my favorite search engine...you know, the one cofounded by a Russian Jew...had any mention of the first day of Chanukah on its front page. Considering all the esoteric holidays that Google acknowledges, Chanukah was a pretty safe bet.

Nada. Zilch. Rien. Efes. Null value.

Ask.com, on the other hand, has a wonderful Chanukah-themed image as a background. So, I'm making a resolution this Chanukah to switch from Google to Ask.com in protest. I encourage you to do the same. Support multiculturalism and use Ask.com. Protest the great Antiochus of Google (let's not forget the whole Google China incident) by boycotting Google.

The Maccabis have spoken.

And Then it was Thanksgiving

I did have great intentions of writing our family newsletter, the Yearly T'ruah, back in September. I was all set to go...but then I had to go and break my left pinky finger. Technically, I could still type. But when you spend 9-10 hours of your day furiously typing reports at work with your left hand in splint, you lose all enthusiasm for cranking out a typed newsletter once you get home.

So, now that my hand is no longer splinted, and my pinky is healing nicely, I have grand intentions of getting The T'ruah out before Chanukah. Of course, calling it the T'ruah doesn't make much sense anymore...but that's the way the oil burns.

But now it is Thanksgiving. Well, okay, now it is a couple of days AFTER Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law hosted the family dinner this year, taking over the tradition long held by my parents-in-law. My sister-in-law was excited about taking on the responsibility, and my in-laws were ECSTATIC about dumping it on her.

Of course, we followed my in-laws other family tradition and split up the cooking so that no one person was saddled with feeding an army.

One of my contributions was the vegetarian stuffing. Many years ago, I convinced my father-in-law that homemade stuffing was MUCH better than Pepperidge Farm's stuffing, so now I get to make it every year. Of course, I make a vegetarian stuffing which is served separately in a pan. Besides, even for those omnivores who insist on eating turkey and other animal flesh for Thanksgiving, it is much safer to eat the stuffing separately as many food studies have shown.

So, here is my recipe for Vegetarian Thanksgiving Stuffing:

1 pan cornbread
7 slices oven-dried white (or whole wheat) bread
2 cups celery
1 cup onion
1 tsp. sage
1 Tbs. poultry seasoning (or similar spice mixture)
5-7 cups vegetarian broth
4-8 Tbs. butter, melted
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Saute celery and onion in a little oil.

In a bowl, crumble together cornbread and oven dried bread. Add sauteed vegetables and spices, and mix together. Pour in broth and butter. Bake in greased pan for 30-45 minutes.

Egg Nog Kugel

I believe the eighth night of Chanukah should be called the "fire hazard" night. We had seven chanukiot set up, which means that we had 63 candles burning (see picture to the left). Luckily most of the wrapped presents had already been unwrapped, so the chances of an errant candle setting off a horrific holiday blaze were somewhat reduced.

But what's a holiday without a sense of danger.
Switching topics...after my previous rant...uh, I mean homily...one might mistakenly think that I oppose ALL blending of cultures. Not true, not true, not true. And on Chanukah next year, I can think of no better way to celebrate the season than by making the traditional Chanukah noodle kugel with a slight Christmas twist.

Egg Nog Kugel

8 oz. wide egg noodles
4 oz. butter or margarine
6 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
1 cup cottage cheese
1 cup egg nog
¼ cup sugar
½ cup raisins

Topping:
1 cup chopped pecans
½ cup brown sugar
2 Tbs. butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cook noodles in boiling salted water until tender. Drain and add butter. Set aside. Beat together eggs, sour cream, cottage cheese, egg nog, and sugar. Add raisins. Add mixture to noodles. Pour into greased 8 x 12-inch baking dish. Mix together topping ingredients. Sprinkle over kugel. Bake for one hour. Serves 10-12.

Chrismukkah? Feh! Humbug!

As amusing as I find the concept of “Chrismukkah”, I find it somewhat dangerous as well. It’s not the blending of two completely antithetical holidays that bothers me so much (Chanukah celebrates the victory of the Jews over religious persecution and assimilation, Christmas celebrates the perceived fulfillment of Judaism by the arrival of the prophesied Christian messiah). It's just that I fear that too few people will see the inherent irony of Chrismukkah and assume that haphazard blending of cultures can actually replace cultural sensitivity and representation. For too long, many have tried to justify government-sponsored religion under the argument that Christmas is a secular holiday (despite all the people who actually do celebrate the birth of Christ) and should in fact be equated with secular holidays such as Independence Day or Super Sunday (although many celebrate this holiday religiously).

Chanukah is, of course, one of the more minor holidays, so might I propose a list of other holidays with temporal proximity that can be blended:

Rosh Hashamadan (Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan): We celebrate the Jewish New Year, the Torah, and the revelation of the Quran all at once. For 40 days, from sun up to sundown, we blow the shofar and eat apples and honey.

Eastover (Pesach and Easter): We commemorate the Pesach seders. On the first night, we commemorate the very first seder that led to the giving of the Torah (the cornerstone of Judaism). On the second night, we commemorate the death, rebirth, and ascension of Jesus (the cornerstone of Christianity). After that, we search for soggy matzah on the front lawn and eat pesadic chocolate bunnies.

Purdi Gras (Purim and Marti Gras): We celebrate Esther’s bravery in ancient Persia on the last day before Lent. We dress in costume, drink heavily, and party like there’s no tomorrow. OK, so maybe this one actually works.

My point is simply that while the blending of traditions can be a good thing, the blending should not replace the original holiday, religion, or traditions. Celebrate Chanukah, or don’t. Celebrate Christmas, or don’t. Celebrate both if you like. But please don't believe that you can maintain a foot in your own heritage by replacing it with a blended version of another one.

Just some thoughts for 2007.

Thanksgiving Wild Rice Pilaf with Tofu

Happy Thanksgiving! Well, Happy 2nd day of Thanksgiving to be exact. We are spending Thanksgiving with my in-laws who have moved their big feast to the day after Thanksgiving to better accommodate everyone's holiday family expectations. Now my sister-in-law can feast with her in-laws in Oblong, Illinois, on Thursday and feast with her parents in Terre Haute on Friday. This creates a defacto 2nd seder for Thanksgiving. My in-laws aren't Jewish, but they have a better understanding of Jewish ritual than do most Jews.

This creates a new tradition for the Thanksgiving meal: lasagna. Although the 2nd seder always has the traditional turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, etc., the 1st seder for the last two years has been vegetarian lasagna and garlic bread. It makes for a great Thanksgiving meal, but it's a little difficult to slice into sandwiches for leftovers.

Many have asked me, “Just what do vegetarians EAT during Thanksgiving?” I suspect many have an image of my family meagerly scraping the last of the mashed potatoes and corn onto our plate while the rest of the extended family, omnivores all of them, greedily gorge themselves on turkey and giblet gravy and toss half of their crescent roll to my hungry children to watch them scuffle over the buttery roll, all the time taking bets on who will end up with the black eye.

Although I have experimented with many vegetarian main dishes in the past on Thanksgiving, nowadays we just create a balanced meal of side dishes rather than a hierarchical meal of main dish and back-up singers. Having said that, some side dishes do get elevated to the status of “signature dish.” The wild rice pilaf with tofu has become a new tradition (three years running). Although it doesn't slice into sandwiches like turkey, it makes a great tortilla wrap for the week after Thanksgiving.

Wild Rice Pilaf with Tofu

Ingredients:
1 lb. (1 block) of extra-firm tofu, Chinese style
3 cups vegetarian broth (I recommend Rapunzel Vegetable Bouillon)
1 cup brown rice
1/2 cup wild rice (make sure it's Minnesota-grown)
1/4-1/2 cup chopped onion
1 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 15 oz. can mandarin oranges, drained, syrup reserved
1 cup chopped pecans
sprig of rosemary

Preheat the oven to 400oF. Drain the tofu and press out the excess water on 2-3 paper towels. Cut the tofu into cubes. Marinate the tofu in 1-2 cups of broth for 30 minutes at room temperature or for several hours in the refrigerator. Remove the tofu from the broth and bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes. Turn each piece of tofu over and bake for another 10 minutes until tofu is firm and light brown, but not burnt.

In a large sauce pot, saute the onions in the oil. Add the brown rice, 1 cup broth, 1/4 cup reserved mandarin orange syrup, and 1/4-1/2 cup water and cook until rice is tender. In a separate pot, cook the wild rice in 1 cup of water.

Mix together the brown rice, wild rice, chopped pecans, and tofu. Serve on a large platter, garnished with mandarin orange slices and a couple of sprigs of rosemary (optional).