The Purim Fool

Yes, that's me...dressed as a hamantaschen. I made the costume the night before Purim. Technically, I made it the morning of Purim, which kind of shows. But for a costume conceived, designed, and constructed between 11:30pm and 2 am, it's pretty good.

I wore it to Purim services Thursday night, and then I wore it again at the Purim carnival today. It's all about putting your money where your mouth is. It's one thing to espouse the joys of Jewish ritual to your own children and to the kindergarten kids you are teaching at religious school, but until they see their supposedly respectable grown-up teacher walking around dressed like a big folded cookie, it's all academic. My goal is to teach them...and their parents...and everyone else at our synagogue...that Purim is not just a pediatric holiday. It's for everyone. Even respectable teachers like myself.

I got a lot of praise for the costume from my friends at synagogue. But mostly I got a lot of grief from people who watched me try to sit down in the pews in the costume. Let's just say that it did not work. I ended up standing for the entire service.

Speaking of making a fool of himself, Senator John McCain was in the news recently. Poor McCain. He was just trying to show support for Israel in a press conference with Ehud Barak by commenting on the impact of the rocket fire on the children in the area. He said, "As they celebrate their version of Halloween here, they are somewhere close to a 15-second warning, which is the amount of time they have from the time the rocket is launched to get to safety."

Yep, that's right folks. Purim is our "version of Halloween." The entire Book of Esther and centuries of ritual have been reduced to a second-rate version of All Hallow's Eve.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, who was traveling with McCain, had to quickly correct McCain and explain to him the significance of the holiday. Lieberman took responsibility for the gaffe, saying that he had compared the holidays to McCain earlier.

I realize what happened, of course. On the flight over to Israel, Lieberman was probably trying to prep McCain for the pending news conference.

Lieberman: "...Oh, and John, you should probably mention something about Purim. It'll improve your street cred with the Israelis."
McCain: "Purim? What's that?"
Lieberman: "It's a Jewish holiday that starts Thursday night. I guess you could think of it as a Jewish version of Halloween. On Purim, we read the Book of Esther from the Bible. We celebrate how brave Queen Esther saved the Jewish people from Haman, the prime minister of Persia. See, he hated the Jews and wanted to kill them all...kind of like Al Qaeda in Iraq. It's a fun, joyous holiday celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating special cookies called hamantaschen, and making noise whenever anyone mentions Haman's name."
McCain: "...wait, I'm writing this down (mumbling) Jewish...version...of...Halloween. Got it. Thanks, Joe."

I could just hear Lieberman thinking to himself later, "Thank God I didn't mention the part where we get drunk."

Mango Hamantaschen

Chag Sameach! Happy Purim!

I'm participating in a Biggest Loser contest at work (losing weight, of course), and our weigh-in day is Friday morning. Let me tell you, it's just not fair having Purim the night before a weigh-in day. But I was good. I had only two hamantaschen all day and I didn't inbibe in any alcohol.

But I've weighed in now...and the weekend starts tonight...so I'm extending my Purim celebration until Saturday night. I'm sure there must be a responsa out there for extending Purim through the weekend if it comes mid-week before a weigh-in day. There must be. I'm seeing single malt scotch in my future.

Last weekend I catered a lunch at our synagogue. It was a "fiesta" theme, which basically meant Latin American food from Mexico and Venezuela. As part of the dessert, I baked two kinds of tropical, parve hamantaschen: mango and pineapple. The pineapple filling was simply pineapple preserves from a jar, but the mango filling was rather inspired. The recipe is below:

Mango Hamantaschen

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 eggs, beaten
2 Tbs orange juice
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup butter
Mango filling

Mango filling:
3 ripe mangoes (each about 3/4 pound)
1 Tbs fresh lime juice
2 Tbs sugar
1 tsp corn starch mixed with 2 tsp water

Peel and cut flesh from mangoes, discarding pits. In a blender or food processor purée mango with the lime juice and 2 Tbs sugar until smooth. Heat sauce over a low to medium flame, stirring constantly. Add the corn starch and cook until it thickens to your desired consistency. This recipe makes a lot of filling, but you can always freeze the extra.

Sift or mix well the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
In a separate bowl, mix together eggs, margarine, juice, and vanilla extract.
Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and mix together. If the dough is too sticky, add a little more flour and cover.
Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.
Roll out dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Cut into circles with a 2 ½-inch round cookie cutter.
Put ¾ tsp of filling in the center of the circle. Shape into triangles using a standard hamantaschen fold.
Preheat oven to 325ºF. Bake on a parchment-lined cookie sheet for 10 to 12 minutes, until edges are golden brown. Cook on a rack.

What Am I Missing Here?

Just a thought...

Why is it that the general public has bought into the rhetoric that Clinton is the more "experienced" candidate of the Democratic presidential primary? Why will no one stand up and say, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!" or "That Dog Don't Hunt" or whatever catchy phrase we use to question the common knowledge? Barack Obama actually has MORE experience as an elected official than Hillary Clinton does. Obama served in the Illinois Senate from 1997 to 2004 and then in the U.S. Senate from 2004 to present. Hillary served in the U.S. Senate from 2000 to present. That (as far as I can see) is her ONLY experience in elected office. Her time as First Lady DOES NOT COUNT as elected office experience.

Therefore, it is Obama that has more experience overall. True, Clinton has more experience in national politics than he does...but only by four years. I'm not sure four more years of experience is enough to qualify her as the "experienced" candidate.

That dog don't hunt.

The Best Jewish Holiday You Never Heard Of

Now that we are many weeks past the hoopla of St. Valentines Day, I have a confession to make. I don't particularly like this holiday. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE the idea of a holiday that celebrates love and friendship. I LIKE placing a dot on the calendar to remind you to appreciate what and who you have. And I can pretty much put up with the crass commercialism and institutionalized guilt inherent in the season ("If you truly loved your wife, you'd forget about retirement, take out a loan, and buy her a diamond.").

No, I have other issues.

First of all, my tolerance for pink is pretty low.

Second of all, a holiday that once focused on love and relationships, has become an excuse to force kids to send each other cards with Charms Blowpops or Pixie Stix attached. What truly is the purpose of this?

And third of all, this is, and should be, a Catholic holiday. The history of the holiday is lengthy and fascinating, and the well-known legend of the St. Valentine who left the famous missive, "from your Valentine," before being executed by the Roman Emperor Claudius II, adds a certain amount of color to a holiday now known for hearts, flowers, and chocolate.

So, why is it that so many Jews also celebrate this holiday? Does this holiday fill a void not addressed by our own celebrations? Do we yearn for our own day of love? Is there NO holiday in the Jewish calendar that could be called the Jewish Valentine's Day?

It turns out that there is such a holiday. It's called Tu B'Av (15th of the Month of Av). How is it, that such a wonderful holiday could all but disappear from our calendar? Why did no one tell me about this? In Israel, the holiday has been getting a commercial rebirth. But outside of Israel...bupkes.

Tu B'Av comes in the middle of the summer, and in 2008, it will come on Saturday, August 16 (starting the evening before on Friday). Tu B'Av is known as the happiest day of the year. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel is quoted in the Mishnah as saying, "There were no better (i.e. happier) days for the people of Israel than the Fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur, since on these days the daughters of Israel/Jerusalem go out dressed in white and dance in the vineyards. What were they saying: Young man, consider whom you choose (to be your wife)…"( Taanit, Chapter 4).

You heard me right. Tu B'Av has all the power of Yom Kippur, but instead of not eating all day, you wear a white dress and go dancing. Wow.

Basically, six days after Tisha B'Av, the Jewish celebration of everything-going-wrong-all-in-one-day, we get Tu B'Av, a holiday that actually celebrates a bunch of GOOD things. For example:

• When the Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land from passing to other tribes. However on Tu B'Av, they could marry whomever they wanted. And many went for the studs from the tribe of Naphtali.
  
• The Tribe of Benjamin was allowed to intermarry with the other tribes on Tu B'Av, which generally wasn't done because of nasty civil war between the tribes.


• Tu B'Av signifies the ATONEMENT for the sin of the Spies...you know, that horrible sin responsible for the 40 years of wandering in the desert. Ten advance scouts came back bearing such negative reports that it reduced the entire nation to mass panic. As a result of the sin of Not Showing Good Decorum, it was decreed by God that the nation would remain in the desert for 40 years, and that no person 20 or older would be allowed to enter Israel. On Tu B'Av, we celebrate the commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Trust Anyone Over 20."

It goes on like that. On Tu B'Av, by the glow of a full summer moon, young women, robed in white, would go out and dance in the fields outside the walls of Jerusalem. The men would follow in the hopes of finding a bride. Holidays just don't come any better than that. I couldn't MAKE UP a holiday this classy.

So, why did it disappear outside of Israel? I don't know, and I don't care. All that matters is that we bring it back. Now. With a vengeance.

Gentleman...it's up to us. This August 16th, treat your bashert with chocolate and flowers and buy her a nice white dress (although you might want to wait on the chocolate if she's wearing the white dress). Do it up right. We don't NEED Valentine's Day. We've got our OWN day.

To get the holiday started off properly, you can make her Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones. Trust me, nothing says romance like chocolate AND raspberries. If you bring her breakfast in bed with these scones, you are pretty well golden for the rest of the season.

Here's the recipe:

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1/3 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

6 Tbs. unsalted butter, chilled

1/2 cup milk

1 large egg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

3 oz. semisweet baking chocolate

1/2 cup frozen raspberriess

Preheat oven to 375 F. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

In a larger bowl, stir together the flour, brown sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Cut the butter into 1/2 inch cubes and distribute them over the flour mixture. Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a separate bowl, stir together the milk, egg, and vanilla. Add the milk mixture to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Chop the baking chocolate into small chunks, and stir into the dough. In a blender or food processor, chop up the still-frozen raspberries and fold them into the dough.

Using a 1/3 cup measuring cup, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet leaving about 2-3 inches between scones. Bake for 16 to 18 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.