Saturday, December 06, 2008

War, Inc.

Shirah and I just watched the movie, War, Inc. tonight. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. It's an intelligent, funny, hard core political satire. No wonder it did so poorly at the box office. It was way too ambitious for American audiences. Luckily, it has made over $1 million in US DVD sales, so hopefully it will find its audience somewhere.

I was reminded of Wag the Dog, a political movie that in fact did very well at the box office. However, Wag the Dog had a couple advantages over War, Inc. First of all, it had the megastar wattage of Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro...together. Second, the movie clearly explained what it was trying to do, and it didn't deviate from its central theme throughout the film. Audiences clearly knew what they were watching. It was easy to write the blurb.
War, Inc., on the other hand, is much more frenetic and disjointed. It's primary theme is the outsourcing of wars to private contractors. What would happen, the movie asks, if an ENTIRE war was outsourced to a private contractor? Furthermore, what would happen if a Middle Eastern teenage pop icon found her life controlled not only by the world press but also by a war zone, a patriarchal culture, and her own need for self-actualization? And what would happen if a CIA hitman, who was thrown into the 'Emerald City' in Turaqistan, was trying to carry out a hit while dealing with his own personal demons, self doubt, growing conscience, and distraction by a left-wing reporter (Marisa Tomei, one of my favorite actresses)? And where exactly is the fictional country of Turaqistan? And why does Ben Kingsley have a southern U.S. accent?

See? No wonder American audiences couldn't follow it.

Roger Ebert did not like the movie. Roger Ebert did not understand the movie. Roger Ebert has difficulty with complex plots. Fine. That's his own problem.

Bottom line...War, Inc. is a very funny, very ambitious movie that frankly should have received much more attention. It has a top shelf cast (John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff, Ben Kingsley, and Montel Williams in a surprise role), it has clever writing, it has lots of action and explosions, and it has a sharp political message.

Just don't watch it with Roger Ebert. You might have to explain it to him.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Egads. Two months have passed without a blog entry. Why is it that good habits, like exercising, eating right, and blogging, are so much harder to get back into once you get out of them? It just isn't fair. I got out of the habit of staying up late and eating too many desserts over the summer, and now I'm right back into them like no time passed.

Speaking of writing, my Yearly T'ruah (our family newsletter) never got written for the High Holidays, so I am going to make sure it gets sent out before Chanukah. We still call the newsletter the Yearly T'ruah, even when it gets sent out during Purim (in March) simply because it reminds me that a) Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the most important holidays of the year, b) you're late, you idiot, you're late again.

It keeps me humble.

But anyway, we're gearing up now for our Friday Thanksgiving meal. As I mentioned in previous blog entries, my inlaws always have our big meal on Friday so my sister-in-law can have Thanksgiving dinner with HER in-laws on Thursday. It's a simple fix that works for everybody's schedule, and it usually results in having non-traditional meals on Thanksgiving proper. Last night, I made a spinach, tomato, and feta frittata.

Thanksgiving is always a communal affair with my in-laws. No matter who is actually hosting it, the cooking responsibilities are evenly distributed for our Friday meal. This way, no one is stuck with all the cooking duties, and everyone feels a connection to the meal. Furthermore, this way there are more compliments to go around. ("Oh, you liked the salt and pepper? Thank your uncle. He brought them.")

This year, we have a new addition to the family...and therefore, a new guest at the meal. My niece Rowan is 2-months old, which means that she will be the center of attention. Naturally, this means that her sister Dana, who is almost 3, will be forced to dump her plate of food on her head at some point during the meal to regain her rightful place as focal point. This, of course, will result in both of my sons laughing hysterically until one of them starts choking, repositioning one or both of them as the new center of attention. And then Rowan will start crying because there is too much noise. And then we will all have pie.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Chag Sameach!

Chag Sameach! Lshana tova tikatevu! Have a happy and healthy new year.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Yellow Belt

It was Friedrich Nietzche who wrote, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." I've been repeating that to myself a lot lately. It has become my new mantra. To me, it's much more upbeat than, "This too shall pass."

This past Saturday, I was muttering it over and over again as I tested for my first Krav Maga belt level. This was not the 2-hour "wait for your turn, get up do your thing, go sit down" testing that Omri did when he took Taekwando. No, this was 5 1/2 hours of continuous, strenuous, sweat-pouring, heart-pounding activity. This was hard core. This would have made Nietzche whimper.

But I made it through, and I am feeling pretty proud of myself. As I said previously, sometimes you have to meet 40 head on. Sometimes, you've got to push yourself to the limit, hit the wall, and keep on going.

And once I can get up again, I'll do my victory dance.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

YouTube Video of McCain-Palin Love Tryst

...would be a totally ludicrous headline. But who reads past the headlines anyway? Certainly the mainstream media has done a horrible job presenting a fair and balanced view of the candidates. How many times have the newspapers called McCain a maverick despite the fact that he voted with Bush 95% of the time (FactCheck.org). Or, how about the media replays of Fox News's false claim that Obama is a Muslim (not that there's anything wrong with that...).

So, here is my underground suggestion for the blogosphere. Let's start publishing blog titles that claim ludicrous rumors. We can explain in the blog text that we simply made up a rumor, but as long as we spread the headlines, the supporting text won't matter.

The headlines should be just within believability. "McCain Loses Count of Personal Jets," is a good example. "McCain and Palin Secret Vegetarians" is a little too silly. I mean, what kind of nut job would be a vegetarian?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Getting it Right

Today I had a rare opportunity. I got to see people get it right. Not just partially right, not just satisfactorily right, not just, "well, that's as much as I would have expected," but unequivocally, amazingly, spot on. Today, I volunteered at the St. Mary's Child Center in Indianapolis.


Deborah Wood Associates, the parent company of my employer CME Enterprise, is working with St. Mary's this year as part of our company's community service project. Once a month, different employees sign up to go volunteer at St. Mary's and work with the children: reading books, playing with the kids, basically doing whatever the teachers need. Today, my department volunteered.


St. Mary's Child Center works with children ages 3 to 5 years old who are, "at great risk for a wide range of social, emotional, economic and environmental problems." This not-for-profit organization provides half-day education and meals for children throughout the Indy metro area. Parents pay whatever they can afford. Some pay as little as $2 per week.

One might expect such a place to operate at the lowest possible standards. it doesn't. It operates at the highest. Following the Reggio Emilia educational philosophy, St. Mary's introduces its kids to art, reading, science, drama, and basically anything else it can use to engage the kids and help them learn. I sat in a classroom with 4 year-olds who were counting numbers and reciting the days of the week in song. The kids were well-behaved, lively, and friendly. The teachers were clearly dedicated to the kids, to the learning philosophy, and to education in general.

As I said, they got it right.

Please check out the St. Mary's Child Center Website, particularly their wishlist page where they list items they need for the school. Also visit the volunteer page to see how your company, or you yourself, can help.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Breaking Away

The Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Bike Ride this past Saturday was an unqualified success. The weather was absolutely perfect: no rain, just a slight cloud cover, warm enough to convince you that it's still summer, but not hot enough to melt copper. And, yes, I rode the entire 34 miles of the Monon round trip.

Some friends of mine, a family of four, joined me on the bike ride. To keep their identity private, I will only refer to them as the Pitt-Jolies: Brad, Angelina, Vivienne (10), and Marcheline (9).

The Pitt-Jolies are pretty avid bikers despite their protestations that they really hadn't done much biking this summer. Of course, "not doing much biking," did not affect their ability to ride circles around me. I take pride in the fact that I was able to ride further than both the 9-year old AND the 10-year old. The 9-year old only rode 16 miles, and the 10-year old only rode 28 miles total. Hah!

Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Can you bike further than a 5th grader? And are you proud of yourself?

Both Vivienne and Marcheline did AMAZINGLY well, especially considering that when I was 9 years old, I had just removed my training wheels. I think I was able to ride a mile to school and back when I was 10.

I came home after the bike ride and told my kids that I didn't want to hear them complain when I made them walk around the block.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Age of Ascension

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "The Icarus Factor," Lt. Worf is depressed because he has reached the Age of Ascension, and he has no Klingon family to share it with. As it turns out, the standard celebration for the Age of Ascension is to walk through a gauntlet of particularly nasty looking Klingons who stab you repeatedly with pain sticks.


I never understood that episode until today. Today I turned 40. Happy Birthday to me.


Although I do plan to celebrate in style with my family this Sunday, I spent my birthday this evening doing two back-to-back Krav Maga classes. I'm kind of tired now and very sore, but it's a good kind of AAAAGH. I highly recommend facing major birthday milestones by getting your tuchus handed to you. It is very therapeutic.


This Saturday is the Official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Bike Ride. I will undoubtedly be tired and sore Saturday evening, and my plan to drink multiple beers at the Broad Ripple Brewpub after 30 miles of physical activity is of questionable intelligence. But I'm going to do it anyway. And I'm going to enjoy myself. And Shirah is going to drive me home.


Maybe I won't be celebrating with Klingon pain sticks. It doesn't matter. I've found a way to face 40 with a lion's roar, a pounding of the chest, and a triumphant smile.


Of course this raises the stakes for 50. Maybe I'll go pick a fight with Mike Tyson. Anybody else game?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Happy Birthday, Shirah

My wife Shirah is five weeks older than I am. That means that any birthday-related "cleverness" I feel obliged to perpetrate on her will come back at me five-fold in five weeks time. This is one of the reasons I am always nice to my wife in July.

I am nice to her for other reasons as well. Not the least of which is that she has put up with me for 16 years. Some would say this entitles her to a purple heart. Others would say that in 4 years she is eligible for parole.

So, to celebrate her 40th birthday (yes, the cat's out of the bag...but you all figured that out when I said she was five weeks older than me...oh, never mind) I threw her a party. She decided that she wanted a fiesta theme, which meant that we had a vegetarian taco bar, enchiladas, tropical fruit salad, guacamole, roasted corn salsa, cayenne pepper picante, horchata to drink, and baklava for dessert.

OK, so maybe baklava isn't exactly fiesta food. OK, so maybe it isn't fiesta food at all. A party is a party, and she knew what she wanted. Besides, I've developed a certain reputation for my baklava. Play to your strengths, I always say.

She insisted on other non-fiesta desserts as well; Hoosier desserts from her youth. So, I made peanut butter squares and chocolate oatmeal bars. Both recipes are good. I mean sinfully good. And there are still leftovers in the refrigerator. This is bad. Very, very bad. If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back...

We tried to make the party as kid-friendly as possible. I mean, c'mon...we had tacos and soda. We rented a room at the Post Road Park Banquet and Meeting Facility, which has a convenient playground right outside the building. So, when the kids got antsy waiting for someone to entertain them, I took them all outside into the 90 degree heat and schvitzed while they ran around the playground. Meanwhile, my wife stayed inside the air-conditioned building and chatted with the adults.

Yes, I love my wife. I just hope this all comes back to me five-fold in five weeks time. I'd even settle for some peanut butter squares.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Saddle Sores


The Official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Birthday Ride grows ever closer. Thankfully, I'm getting closer to my 30 mile goal. I biked 25 miles today along the Monon, so with any luck, I should have no problems fulfilling my goal on August 19. Of course, I'm feeling very, VERY sore today.

Again, if anyone wants to join me on my bike run, the invitation still stands. You don't even have to be nearing 40 to join me. You can be a young pup or an old timer. I don't care. You just have to keep up. Or, more importantly, not make me look too bad.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Roasted Sweet Potato Burritos with Homemade Tortillas

Here is another off-the-cuff recipe that came to me in a moment of inspiration. The homemade tortillas would probably have come out better if I had a tortilladora (tortilla press), but I was able to roll out the tortillas between two sheets of parchment paper nonetheless. As it is, the rough edges of the tortillas give them a more nouvelle cuisine appeal.

SWEET POTATO FILLING
1 large sweet potato
1 16-oz can tomato sauce
1 cup granulated textured vegetable protein (TVP)
1 Tbs ketchup
2 green onions, diced
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
2-3 Tbs canola oil
1 Tbs chili powder
1/4 cup prepared picante (preferably Pace)

Peel the sweet potato and cut it into 1/2 inch-size squares. Coat the sweet potato with 1 Tbs canola oil and place under a broiler for 5-10 minutes, flipping the potatoes every 3-5 minutes until they are tender and browned.

Mix the ketchup with 7/8 cup hot water and add TVP. Mix until TVP is completely rehydrated.


Saute the green onion and bell pepper in 1-2 Tbs oil until lightly browned. Add tomato sauce and stir. Add picante sauce and chili powder and cook sauce for 5 more minutes. Mix in rehydrated TVP and sweet potato.

HOMEMADE TORTILLAS
2 cups masa flour
1 1/4 cups water
1/4 tsp salt

Mix together flour, salt, and water to make a soft dough. Knead dough for about 2 minutes. Divide dough into 16 equal parts. Keep covered with damp cloth to keep dough moist. Line a tortilla press with two sheets of thick plastic wrap. Place each ball between plastic and press until tortilla measures 5 to 6 inches in diameter. Alternatively, you can roll out the ball between two sheets of parchment paper, although this is a lot trickier.

Preheat ungreased skillet. Cook tortillas one at a time for 50 seconds or until just barely brown. Turn, then cook the other side for another 50 seconds. Cover tortillas with cloth napkin to keep soft and warm.

Spoon about 1/4 to 1/2 cup sweet potato filling along a line just off the meridian of the tortilla. Wrap the tortilla around the filling and serve.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Happy Birthday, Micah!

Happy Birthday, Micah! May you grow older and wiser but never bitter nor jaded. May the world continue to delight and surprise you. May you always see the best in others and help them to see it in themselves.


And may you always be able to charm the socks off of everyone and anyone. It's a valuable skill to have. Don't lose it.


Six years old. Wow. That's six-tenths of a decade. It's like having your very first birthday again...and again and again and again and again. It's old enough to play Laser Tag. I know this because you've reminded me...again and again and again and again.


It amazes me that even as Micah grows older and smarter and more eloquent (using big words like "artificial sweetener" and "inedible"), he never seems to lose that wide-eyed fascination of the world. I pray he never does.

Two weeks ago, Micah and I went to the Bill Monroe Bean Blossom Bluegrass Festival. After spending all Saturday at the festival, we camped overnight in our deluxe-ish Eddie Bauer tent. It was Micah's first time camping. It was a BIG DEAL. He was fascinated by everything: by the informal jam sessions throughout the campground, by the talented players on the stage, by our sleeping bags and inflatable pillows, and by learning to brush his teeth "the camping way" (pouring water from a bottle on the toothbrush, brushing his teeth outside the tent, and spitting on the ground). I got to experience camping all over again through his eyes.


And I could never tell just what would get his attention. There he was in the midst of the music festival, Bluegrass all around him, big bag of kettle corn next to his chair, having watched me erect our tent, having watched our neighbors play mandolin, banjo, bass, and dobro right in front of him...you know, the full experience. He climbed into my lap, gave me a big hug, and peeked over my shoulder at the people behind us. "Cool, Cheez-its!" he said as he spotted the crackers the people behind us were snacking on. He said it the same way I might have said, "Cool, a Lamborghini!"


Naturally, the people behind us offered him Cheez-its. After all, Micah still can charm the socks off of anyone.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Pavlov's Disc

Do other men have a Pavlovian response to a Frisbee? If you are holding a serious discussion on politics, family, work, entertainment, or world crises, do you suddenly break away the moment someone waves a plastic disc at you and says, "Go long"?

I thought about this yesterday at our departmental team building outing. We had a grand old time on the grounds of the Indianapolis Museum of Art (IMA) discussing each of our five greatest strengths according to the Strengths Finder 2.0 book. We ate box lunches from Panera Bread, engaged in a couple of team building ice breakers, such as the human knot, and then got into a heady discussion about how we can complement our team's strengths and work with the strengths of the other departments in our company.

And then someone pulled out the Frisbee.

All pretense of professionalism was gone. All four men took to the field and tossed the disc back and forth with greater or lesser levels of skill (I was lesser). And all four women stayed behind, conversed, and watched the men. It was as if someone rang the bell and the dogs started salivating.

Luckily, not one of us tried to catch the Frisbee in our teeth. Stimulus-response be damned. Our dental insurance isn't THAT good.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Announcing the Official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Birthday Ride

I am so proud of myself. This past weekend, I biked 14 miles up and down the Monon Trail in Indianapolis. Yeah, sure, I know. A third of you are saying, "Only 14 miles? So, what? I eat 14 miles for breakfast." The other third are saying, "Are you NUTS? At YOUR age?" And then there's that third third who are saying, "Nice job! You go, dude! We are SO proud of you!"

The rest of this blog is for this last segment of the population. The rest of you can go eat your 14 mile breakfast someplace else.

Of course, I am feeling it. Oy, am I feeling it. My posterior is, shall we say, rather saddle sore. I was already feeling sore last Wednesday at Krav Maga class when our teachers, in an effort to train us how to do roll falls the correct way, took us outside to practice on the pavement. The good news is that my previous Aikido training from a decade ago kicked in, and my roll falls were flawless. The bad news is that I am nearing 40. Generally speaking, the untrained 40-year old body does not like to do roll falls on the pavement followed by 14 miles of torture to your tush on an uncomfortable bike seat.

Yes, you heard it right folks. I'm nearing the big 4-0, a.k.a. my second 39th birthday. August 13. Mark it on your Outlook calendars now.

About a month ago, some lovely ladies from my high school graduating class sent out an email informing all of their friends that they were celebrating turning 40 by participating in a 100 mile bike ride in California to raise money for some disease state or another...diabetes or breast cancer or coronary disease. I honestly can't remember. That's not the point. The point is that these ladies are meeting their midlife by pushing their bodies to the limit. They are embracing their age with a show of strength and endurance. They are telling the world that they are still fit, fetching, and fabulous. They are making me look really, really, really bad.

Even if I wanted to join them in California, there is no way I could whip my body back into shape for a 100 mile ride by August 13. Sure, I've lost 15 lbs. in the past three months. Sure, I've built up some muscle by going to Krav Maga twice a week. Sure, I regularly exercise my stomach muscles by lying on the floor and letting my children jump on me. But 100 miles? Nobody eats 100 miles for breakfast.

I figure that the best I can do is 30 miles. That's twice the length of the Monon Trail in Indianapolis and Carmel. I think that with some practice runs and a more comfortable bike seat, I can easily tackle the Monon. In fact, I'm setting Saturday, August 16, as the official day for the official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Birthday Ride.

You are all invited to join me, of course. In fact, I would love the company. Nothing provides incentive for a massive physical endeavor than someone else alongside you preventing you from wussing out. I plan to start at the Frank and Judy O'Bannon Old Northside Soccer Park at 9:00am at 16th Street and Lewis Street, bike south for 0.25 miles to the start of the Monon Trail, bike north for 15 miles until we hit 146th Street, bike back down south to our waiting vehicles, and then drink two entire canteens of water. If you come, bring your own water and sunblock. And bike. And cushy bikeseat.

Afterwards, we can all go out for beer at some nice local establishment, such as the Broad Ripple Brewpub. The first round is on me, but only if you all agree to order a GOOD beer. I'm not about to pay for your Bud or Miller Lite. I'm not going to have you embarrassing me. This is serious business, and life is way too short to drink that swill. Besides, let's face it...I'm not getting any younger.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

My apologies

My mother was very surprised to see the picture on my last blog entry. She is waiting for me to post enough articles to send the image downward.

My wife, on the other hand, had no problem with the picture. Rather, she chastised me for the many punctuation errors that appeared in my blog entries. She realizes that I tend to write late at night (when I am at my sleepiest), and she has begged me to have her proofread my articles before I publish them. I am not sure just how that will work. "Shirah. Shirah. Shirah, wake up. I need you to proofread my diatribe against Bush's tax policy." Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Since I have offended both my mother and my wife, It is likely that I have offended many of you as well, either with my imagery or with my grammar. I apologize profusely. In the future, I vow to pay better attention to my apostrophes. And I'll try to limit the pictures of scantily clad women to one or two per month.

Its the least I can do.

Um...I mean it's the least I can do.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Succubus On Top

Now that I'm a successful professional in the continuing medical education industry, I feel that I need to convey a sense of professionalism both in the office and on the road. So, on my flight home from the MedBiquitous conference last weekend (an organization that promotes technical standards for medical education), I should have been reading the latest issue of the Journal of Continuing Education in the Health Professions or perhaps some photocopyied journal articles about clinical guidelines for antiplatelet therapy. You know, something that would have said, "Wow! That man is truly a professional. I'll sit next to him so that some of his professionalism will rub off on me."


Instead, I was burning my way through a paperback sporting the less than family-oriented image pictured above. I was doing my best to hide the cover on my lap so that parents wouldn't pull their children away from me. Unfortunately, my perpetual smile and constant snickering probably wasn't doing anything to label me as "sane" or "safe."


This is what happens when you read Richelle Mead's books. They are definitely for those of us who felt a deep void in our lives when the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air.


Succubus Blues and the sequel Succubus on Top are urban fantasy novels that tell the story of Georgina Kincaid, a succubus living in modern society. At night she goes out tempting men into sexual relations so that she can suck some of their life force out of them and send them on the road to eternal damnation. During the day she works at a local bookstore and organizes the booksignings. Naturally, her profession as a succubus messes with her desire to have anything resembling a normal life. She wants to develop a long term relationship with one of her favorite authors, but this is complicated by the need for absolute celibacy...you know, so she doesn't drain away his life force. Wacky highjinks ensue.


The books are wildly entertaining. They are not what I would call high literature, but Mead is very good at creating quirky characters, snappy dialog, and interesting explorations of religious and fantasy mythology. One of my favorite characters is her boss, Jerome, a demon who's immense power is balanced by his strange decision to take on the appearance of John Cusack. You get the idea.


The third book in the series, Succubus Dreams, is coming out in October. With any luck, it will coincide with another conference. I can already feel the airline passengers edging away from me.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Birthday Israel!

A belated Happy Birthday to the State of Israel. 60 years old. Amazing. So young!

May you live to 120...and beyond.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Does Hillary Truly Support Israel?

Here's an interesting conundrum. The United Methodist Church has for the last couple of months been debating a resolution calling for divestment from any company that does business with Israel, such as Caterpillar, the tractor manufacturer, "because the company supplies Israel with bulldozers used in building the separation barrier and in demolishing Palestinian homes. The divestment resolution comes only months after the publication of a church-sponsored report referring to the creation of the State of Israel as the 'original sin.'"

As of today, the United Methodist Church rejected five proposed resolutions urging divestment from companies doing business with Israel. This seems to be largely due to many Jewish groups who worked feverishly with the Methodist Church to convince them to defeat the resolutions.

In this "guilt by association" atmosphere, shouldn't Hillary Clinton have been questioned about her supposed support for Israel? She is a lifelong Methodist, yet I don't remember hearing her speak out against the church resolution. Obama was literally raked across the coals for his relationship with Jeremiah Wright, yet Hillary is being given a free pass. Surely, one could/should argue that if she has been associated with the church for most of her life, it suggests that she supports the church doctrine.

It's not that I believe that Hillary is at all anti-Israel, but NEITHER IS OBAMA. It's a simple matter of double standards. Either you judge the candidates on their associates or you judge them on their own merit, actions, and words. But you judge them both EQUALLY.

Besides, if we're talking about guilt by association, we can have a field day with McCain and John Hagee.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Fulfilling My Talmudic Duty

The Talmud has this to say about a father's obligations towards his son:

"A father is obligated to do the following for his son: to circumcise him, to redeem him if he is a first born, to teach him Torah, to find him a wife, and to teach him a trade. Others say: teaching him how to swim as well." (Kiddushin 29a)

In other words, a father is duty bound to prepare his son to face the world. Most halachic (Jewish law) authorities state that if a father can not provide any of the above services for his son, he must hire a person who can.

This is a good thing since my circumcision skills are a bit rusty. As I go through the checklist, I can see what I've taken care of and what I have yet to do for both of my sons:
  • Circumcision - check

  • Redemption of the first born - check (we donated to the state of Israel instead of to a Kohen, but I count this as completed)

  • Teaching them Torah - check. In fact, I wrote a rather large check to the Hebrew School.

  • Teaching them to swim - check

As a matter of fact, I got to watch both Omri and Micah at their swimming class today. Shirah usually takes them since I often work until 6pm. Today I made a point of getting home in time for their class. "You've got to see how much they've progressed," Shirah told me.

She was right. Considering that both of them were starting from pretty much nothing this January, it was wonderful to see them gliding through the water, floating on their backs, and completely submerging themselves for as long as their breath held out. It's like a light went on in their brains, and they suddenly realized just how much fun swimming truly can be. For me this is wonderful, not just because I feel like I'm fulfilling my Talmudic duty, but because I love to swim and I want to pass on this affinity to my children. Maybe they'll grow up and live somewhere on a coast. And swim. And go SCUBA diving. And go boating. And invite me on their boat.

I know, I know...one thing at a time. First I need to teach them a trade and find them wives. Maybe I'll hunt for the wives myself instead of hiring a shadchan (matchmaker). I'm up for the challenge. If anyone is interested in setting up a shidduch (match), give me a call. My son's don't have trades yet, but at least they can swim. And they are learning Torah. Oh, and Omri can stick his foot behind his head.

Maybe I better hire a shadchan after all.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Peanut Butter Matzah Crunch

Well, we're rounding the curve on Pesach. Tonight was the sixth night. This means that we've used up the last of the Streitz's Passover coffee cakes and my family is clamoring for something new for breakfast. Even if we had another coffee cake, I don't think anyone could stomach another piece of almost-streusel topping.

My trick with the kosher for Passover coffee cakes is to mix a banana into the batter. This makes the coffee cake extra moist and it adds some nutritional value to...well...a breakfast of non-vitamin enriched simple carbs. But, now what do I do?

I came up with a new recipe tonight. I like it, but I'll test it on the kids in the morning. I call it Peanut Butter Matzah Crunch because that's about as descriptive a name as I can come up with. It can serve as breakfast or late-day snack. And frankly, it's no worse for you than the coffee cakes. It's got peanut butter and honey. What could be bad? I thought about adding flax seeds to the recipe, but I figured I'd give my family a break.

The nice thing about this recipe is that as it cools, the caramelized honey coating makes the matzah crispy. I haven't tested the recipe with milk, however, to see if the coating keeps the matzah crispy when wet.

"Crispy when wet" is not a phrase I ever thought I'd use on a blog. But I digress...

PEANUT BUTTER MATZAH CRUNCH

3 cups matzah farfel
2 Tbs. canola oil (or other pesadic cooking oil)
2 Tbs. peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cocoa powder


Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a 2-quart saucepan combine oil, honey, peanut butter, and salt. Simmer, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add to the farfel. Stir until the farfel is coated evenly. Spread onto a non-stick cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes, stirring frequently (every 3-4 minutes) to prevent burning. Remove and cool. Break up any large chunks with a spatula. Store in an air-tight container.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Happy Passover

Chag Sameach, everyone. Happy Holidays.

We had our second night seder tonight. It was a small, short affair with just the immediate family...plus about five stuffed animal and dolls that my sons set up on the other end of the table with a children's Haggadah propped on one of the doll's laps. Just a typical dinner in our house.


We went to a family friend's house for the first night seder up in South Bend. We haven't seen most of them since last year at Pesach, so it was great to see them all again. Of course, by the end of the seder, we're all getting punchy. After the seder meal as we were nearing the hallel (songs of praise near the end of the seder), after everyone was questioning whether they should have had that last macaroon or piece of chocolate torte, as everyone was calculating the number of pages left in the Haggadah, I said...just loudly enough for my side of the table to hear... "if you roll doubles three times, you have to go back to page 26." Everyone thought it was pretty funny. Or maybe it was the fourth cup of wine kicking in.


Micah sang the Four Questions this year and did an outstanding bang-up job. I was so proud. Older brother Omri had to do them for a couple of years before Micah was old enough, and I'm sure he's happy to pass on the torch. Of course, my friend Rafi, who is about seven years my junior, had to say the Four Questions for 26 years straight until Omri finally took it over from him. I remember when Omri first recited the Four Questions at the seder. Everybody was very impressed. Rafi was ecstatic.


Yes, Pesach is a time to be thankful. I'm mostly thankful that my weigh-in day for the Biggest Loser contest was one day BEFORE the first night of Pesach. This is definitely NOT the holiday to try to lose weight. I think Jews are single-handedly supporting the egg industry this week. I love reading recipes for Pesadic (kosher for Passover) sponge cakes that start with 9 eggs. Yeaaaahhh! Now, that's a celebration!


It might be time to get my cholesterol level checked soon. But not for another week. And then it's back to eating water.


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Just a Random Thought...

Too often we measure ourselves against young people and their accomplishments. For example, when faced with a 13-year old who owns his own business, we not only comment on the talent of the kid, but we also consider our own shortcomings. While this kid was becoming an entrepreneur, I was struggling to learn my Torah portion for my bar mitzvah. Etc.

But why do we not compare ourselves to people at the other end of the age spectrum as well? When I am 81 years old, what will I be doing?

Speaking of which, Pope Benedict XVI just turned 81 last week. Mazel tov to him. Benedict became pope in April 2005 at the age of 78. That means that being pope is his retirement job.

Wow. Beats being a Walmart greeter.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Veggie Breadsticks

I get tired of listening to my children negotiate, stall, or whine whenever their dinner consists of one or more vegetables not on their favorites list. You'd think I was raising a family of carnivores (and not vegetarians) the way they pick at their peas. So, I am happy to report that I have found a new way to disguise...uh, I mean incorporate...vegetables in a "snack food." I present to you my recipe for veggie breadsticks.

The great thing about this recipe is that it can be made with any vegetables on hand. I would also recommend substituting tomato paste for some of the liquid. But please do add the ground flax seed. What better way is there to get your omega 3 fatty acids, not to mention fiber, manganese, magnesium, and folate?

And by the way, Micah ate three of them tonight. On his own. Without negotiating, stalling, or whining.


VEGGIE BREADSTICKS

1 package active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water
2 1/2 cups unbleached white flour
2 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1 small carrot
1/2 cup packed volume of frozen spinach (thawed and water squeezed out)
1/4 tsp. oregano
1/4 tsp. basil
2 Tbs. ground flax seed
garlic salt

Grind the spinach, carrot, and spices in a food processor until they form a thick paste. In a large bowl, combine the veggies, yeast, warm water, and 1 1/2 cups of the flour. Mix well to blend. Add oil, salt, and remaining flour and stir until the dough sticks together.

Place the dough on a lightly floured surface. Dust your hands with flour and knead the dough until it is smooth and elastic, about five minutes. If the dough gets sticky, sprinkle it with a little flour. If the dough gets too dry, sprinkle water 1 tsp. at a time and knead in.

Roll the dough in a ball and place it in a lightly oiled bowl. Cover the bowl with a dishtowel and set in a warm but not hot place to rise until doubled in volume, 30 minutes to an hour. Preheat the oven to 450 deg. F.

Sprinkle a baking sheet with cornmeal. When the dough has risen, punch it down, knead it a couple more times, and roll it out with a rolling pin onto a baking sheet until it forms a large rectangle about 1/2 inch thick. Allow the dough to rest for 20 minutes.
Using a knife or other sharp edge, cut the dough into strips 1 inch wide by pressing straight down on the dough with the edge. Spray the breadsticks lightly with cooking spray and sprinkle them with garlic salt. Bake in the center of the oven for about 10 minutes.
The recipe makes 8-10 breadsticks.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Purim Fool

Yes, that's me...dressed as a hamantaschen. I made the costume the night before Purim. Technically, I made it the morning of Purim, which kind of shows. But for a costume conceived, designed, and constructed between 11:30pm and 2 am, it's pretty good.

I wore it to Purim services Thursday night, and then I wore it again at the Purim carnival today. It's all about putting your money where your mouth is. It's one thing to espouse the joys of Jewish ritual to your own children and to the kindergarten kids you are teaching at religious school, but until they see their supposedly respectable grown-up teacher walking around dressed like a big folded cookie, it's all academic. My goal is to teach them...and their parents...and everyone else at our synagogue...that Purim is not just a pediatric holiday. It's for everyone. Even respectable teachers like myself.

I got a lot of praise for the costume from my friends at synagogue. But mostly I got a lot of grief from people who watched me try to sit down in the pews in the costume. Let's just say that it did not work. I ended up standing for the entire service.

Speaking of making a fool of himself, Senator John McCain was in the news recently. Poor McCain. He was just trying to show support for Israel in a press conference with Ehud Barak by commenting on the impact of the rocket fire on the children in the area. He said, "As they celebrate their version of Halloween here, they are somewhere close to a 15-second warning, which is the amount of time they have from the time the rocket is launched to get to safety."

Yep, that's right folks. Purim is our "version of Halloween." The entire Book of Esther and centuries of ritual have been reduced to a second-rate version of All Hallow's Eve.

Sen. Joe Lieberman, who was traveling with McCain, had to quickly correct McCain and explain to him the significance of the holiday. Lieberman took responsibility for the gaffe, saying that he had compared the holidays to McCain earlier.

I realize what happened, of course. On the flight over to Israel, Lieberman was probably trying to prep McCain for the pending news conference.

Lieberman: "...Oh, and John, you should probably mention something about Purim. It'll improve your street cred with the Israelis."
McCain: "Purim? What's that?"
Lieberman: "It's a Jewish holiday that starts Thursday night. I guess you could think of it as a Jewish version of Halloween. On Purim, we read the Book of Esther from the Bible. We celebrate how brave Queen Esther saved the Jewish people from Haman, the prime minister of Persia. See, he hated the Jews and wanted to kill them all...kind of like Al Qaeda in Iraq. It's a fun, joyous holiday celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating special cookies called hamantaschen, and making noise whenever anyone mentions Haman's name."
McCain: "...wait, I'm writing this down (mumbling) Jewish...version...of...Halloween. Got it. Thanks, Joe."

I could just hear Lieberman thinking to himself later, "Thank God I didn't mention the part where we get drunk."

Friday, March 21, 2008

Mango Hamantaschen

Chag Sameach! Happy Purim!

I'm participating in a Biggest Loser contest at work (losing weight, of course), and our weigh-in day is Friday morning. Let me tell you, it's just not fair having Purim the night before a weigh-in day. But I was good. I had only two hamantaschen all day and I didn't inbibe in any alcohol.

But I've weighed in now...and the weekend starts tonight...so I'm extending my Purim celebration until Saturday night. I'm sure there must be a responsa out there for extending Purim through the weekend if it comes mid-week before a weigh-in day. There must be. I'm seeing single malt scotch in my future.

Last weekend I catered a lunch at our synagogue. It was a "fiesta" theme, which basically meant Latin American food from Mexico and Venezuela. As part of the dessert, I baked two kinds of tropical, parve hamantaschen: mango and pineapple. The pineapple filling was simply pineapple preserves from a jar, but the mango filling was rather inspired. The recipe is below:

Mango Hamantaschen

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 eggs, beaten
2 Tbs orange juice
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup butter
Mango filling

Mango filling:
3 ripe mangoes (each about 3/4 pound)
1 Tbs fresh lime juice
2 Tbs sugar
1 tsp corn starch mixed with 2 tsp water

Peel and cut flesh from mangoes, discarding pits. In a blender or food processor purée mango with the lime juice and 2 Tbs sugar until smooth. Heat sauce over a low to medium flame, stirring constantly. Add the corn starch and cook until it thickens to your desired consistency. This recipe makes a lot of filling, but you can always freeze the extra.

Sift or mix well the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
In a separate bowl, mix together eggs, margarine, juice, and vanilla extract.
Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and mix together. If the dough is too sticky, add a little more flour and cover.
Refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.
Roll out dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Cut into circles with a 2 ½-inch round cookie cutter.
Put ¾ tsp of filling in the center of the circle. Shape into triangles using a standard hamantaschen fold.
Preheat oven to 325ºF. Bake on a parchment-lined cookie sheet for 10 to 12 minutes, until edges are golden brown. Cook on a rack.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

What Am I Missing Here?

Just a thought...

Why is it that the general public has bought into the rhetoric that Clinton is the more "experienced" candidate of the Democratic presidential primary? Why will no one stand up and say, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!" or "That Dog Don't Hunt" or whatever catchy phrase we use to question the common knowledge? Barack Obama actually has MORE experience as an elected official than Hillary Clinton does. Obama served in the Illinois Senate from 1997 to 2004 and then in the U.S. Senate from 2004 to present. Hillary served in the U.S. Senate from 2000 to present. That (as far as I can see) is her ONLY experience in elected office. Her time as First Lady DOES NOT COUNT as elected office experience.

Therefore, it is Obama that has more experience overall. True, Clinton has more experience in national politics than he does...but only by four years. I'm not sure four more years of experience is enough to qualify her as the "experienced" candidate.

That dog don't hunt.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

The Best Jewish Holiday You Never Heard Of

Now that we are many weeks past the hoopla of St. Valentines Day, I have a confession to make. I don't particularly like this holiday. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE the idea of a holiday that celebrates love and friendship. I LIKE placing a dot on the calendar to remind you to appreciate what and who you have. And I can pretty much put up with the crass commercialism and institutionalized guilt inherent in the season ("If you truly loved your wife, you'd forget about retirement, take out a loan, and buy her a diamond.").

No, I have other issues.

First of all, my tolerance for pink is pretty low.

Second of all, a holiday that once focused on love and relationships, has become an excuse to force kids to send each other cards with Charms Blowpops or Pixie Stix attached. What truly is the purpose of this?

And third of all, this is, and should be, a Catholic holiday. The history of the holiday is lengthy and fascinating, and the well-known legend of the St. Valentine who left the famous missive, "from your Valentine," before being executed by the Roman Emperor Claudius II, adds a certain amount of color to a holiday now known for hearts, flowers, and chocolate.

So, why is it that so many Jews also celebrate this holiday? Does this holiday fill a void not addressed by our own celebrations? Do we yearn for our own day of love? Is there NO holiday in the Jewish calendar that could be called the Jewish Valentine's Day?

It turns out that there is such a holiday. It's called Tu B'Av (15th of the Month of Av). How is it, that such a wonderful holiday could all but disappear from our calendar? Why did no one tell me about this? In Israel, the holiday has been getting a commercial rebirth. But outside of Israel...bupkes.

Tu B'Av comes in the middle of the summer, and in 2008, it will come on Saturday, August 16 (starting the evening before on Friday). Tu B'Av is known as the happiest day of the year. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel is quoted in the Mishnah as saying, "There were no better (i.e. happier) days for the people of Israel than the Fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur, since on these days the daughters of Israel/Jerusalem go out dressed in white and dance in the vineyards. What were they saying: Young man, consider whom you choose (to be your wife)…"( Taanit, Chapter 4).

You heard me right. Tu B'Av has all the power of Yom Kippur, but instead of not eating all day, you wear a white dress and go dancing. Wow.

Basically, six days after Tisha B'Av, the Jewish celebration of everything-going-wrong-all-in-one-day, we get Tu B'Av, a holiday that actually celebrates a bunch of GOOD things. For example:
  • When the Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land from passing to other tribes. However on Tu B'Av, they could marry whomever they wanted. And many went for the studs from the tribe of Naphtali.
  • The Tribe of Benjamin was allowed to intermarry with the other tribes on Tu B'Av, which generally wasn't done because of nasty civil war between the tribes.

  • Tu B'Av signifies the ATONEMENT for the sin of the Spies...you know, that horrible sin responsible for the 40 years of wandering in the desert. Ten advance scouts came back bearing such negative reports that it reduced the entire nation to mass panic. As a result of the sin of Not Showing Good Decorum, it was decreed by God that the nation would remain in the desert for 40 years, and that no person 20 or older would be allowed to enter Israel. On Tu B'Av, we celebrate the commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Trust Anyone Over 20."
It goes on like that. On Tu B'Av, by the glow of a full summer moon, young women, robed in white, would go out and dance in the fields outside the walls of Jerusalem. The men would follow in the hopes of finding a bride. Holidays just don't come any better than that. I couldn't MAKE UP a holiday this classy.
So, why did it disappear outside of Israel? I don't know, and I don't care. All that matters is that we bring it back. Now. With a vengeance.

Gentleman...it's up to us. This August 16th, treat your bashert with chocolate and flowers and buy her a nice white dress (although you might want to wait on the chocolate if she's wearing the white dress). Do it up right. We don't NEED Valentine's Day. We've got our OWN day.
To get the holiday started off properly, you can make her Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones. Trust me, nothing says romance like chocolate AND raspberries. If you bring her breakfast in bed with these scones, you are pretty well golden for the rest of the season.


Here's the recipe:

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Scones

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
6 Tbs. unsalted butter, chilled
1/2 cup milk
1 large egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 oz. semisweet baking chocolate
1/2 cup frozen raspberriess

Preheat oven to 375 F. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

In a larger bowl, stir together the flour, brown sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt. Cut the butter into 1/2 inch cubes and distribute them over the flour mixture. Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. In a separate bowl, stir together the milk, egg, and vanilla. Add the milk mixture to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Chop the baking chocolate into small chunks, and stir into the dough. In a blender or food processor, chop up the still-frozen raspberries and fold them into the dough.
Using a 1/3 cup measuring cup, drop the dough onto the prepared baking sheet leaving about 2-3 inches between scones. Bake for 16 to 18 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Hit By a Bus

I stayed home from work today, and I most likely will be home on Tuesday. Seems that the virus playing ping-pong between my family members finally hit me in the head. I kind of feel like I was hit by a bus.

Which makes me wonder about that expression. I've been in many business continuity meetings where we have discussed the transfer of work in the case that a crucial member of the team is not available. We ALWAYS discuss this as, "What should we do if you were hit by a bus?"


Is there a psychotic bus driver somewhere out there taking out crucial members of project teams? Does he or she have a master list of critical project personnel?


"Oh, there is Drake. His job is redundant. He can live. But wait...there's Dan! He's the only person on the team who knows SPSS. He's mine!" SWERRRRRVVVE!


Who is this madman, and can he be stopped? What does she have against project-oriented business? It sounds like something straight out of Dilbert. Which means, if it turns up on Dilbert, remember you saw it here first.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Mistress of Spices

I have to admit that I’m a pretty big Aishwarya Rai fan. I think she is a fine actress and an excellent dancer. Okay, fine. I also agree with Roger Ebert who commented that the former Miss World is, “not only the first but also the second most beautiful woman in the world.” She makes bad Bollywood movies bearable and good Bollywood movies that much better. She walks onto the screen, and even my wife stops staring at Sharuch Khan, if only for a minute, to watch her. When Harpers and Queen back in 2005 dropped her from “most beautiful woman in the world” to ninth place directly after Kate Moss, I was convinced it was proof that the last vestiges of sanity had finally been ripped away from global civilization. This is all a very long-winded way of saying that Aishwarya has my complete and total attention in any movie that she stars in.

So, I was very surprised last weekend when I watched her 2005 movie “The Mistress of Spices” and found that I was watching the spices nearly as much as I was watching her. In fact, I would argue that the spices were a distinct character in the film: a sexy, sensual, and utterly fascinating character.

The movie is a romantic drama based on the novel by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. It stars Aishwarya Rai Bachchan (sorry, guys, she’s married), Dylan McDermott, and a shop full of exotic spices. Aishwarya plays Tilo, an Indian woman who was blessed as a child with a sort of second-sight future-telling ESP vibe. When bandits looking to use her gifts for their own ill-gotten gains kill her parents and kidnap her, she escapes and ends up on a shoreline where an old woman is teaching young women to be “mistresses of spices.” In this religious order/coven/cult, the women learn the secrets of spices, where the spices come from, how they are grown, and how they are used to heal and influence people. I could go on for paragraphs on this back story, not because it took up much time in the film, but because I found the whole concept fascinating. Spices are not just culinary, but also medical, botanical, and most definitely magical.

As a grown woman, Tilo is sent to San Francisco to runs a spice shop called the Spice Bazaar. As a mistress of spices, her mission is to help her clients accomplish their desires with the spices. However, there are rules. She must never use the spices to accomplish her own desires, she must never leave the store, and she must never touch another person’s skin. Her eclectic customers include a grandfather (played by Anupam Kher being as grandfatherly as always) trying to come to terms with his decidedly NON-traditional granddaughter, an Indian-Muslim taxi driver trying to better his socio-economic status, and a handsome Nigerian man who is learning exotic Indian cooking to impress his girlfriend. All is good until a brooding American architect ends up in her shop after a motorcycle accident (Dylan McDermott at his most McDermottish), and she suddenly has the urge to break all three rules at once. As she ends up breaking each rule (no touching, no leaving, no personal fun with the spices), the luck of her patrons starts to change for the worse, and she faces the horrible possibility of losing her intimacy with the spices forever.

That’s all I’m going to tell you of the plot. It’s a romantic drama, not a romantic tragedy, so you know that somehow the guy and girl are going to get together at the end. However, like every good amusement park ride, the fun is not in the destination but in the journey.

And then there are the spices. Ah, yes, the spices. Director Paul Mayeda Berges uses them to amazing effect. The spices are at once exciting, erotic, and sensual. As the camera pans through the shop, you can smell each spice. As Tilo chops the red chilis, you can feel your eyes water. As she crushes the cardamom, you can feel the warmth on your skin. And when she lets the sesame seeds cascade over her hand...well, OK, I was watching Aishwarya once again.

The Mistress of Spices is not a fast-paced film. There are no explosions, no Bollywood dance numbers, and very little comedic banter. However, the movie is a feast for the senses both visually and emotionally. Like any good feast, the movie must be savored slowly.

And now, I have an incredible craving for palak paneer.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Roy Scheider (1932-2008) o.b.m.

On Sunday, Roy Scheider died at the age of 75 after battling multiple myeloma for several years. Since I have long been a fan of Scheider's work, and I have a very personal interest in multiple myeloma treatment, I took more than a passing interest in his obituaries.

Most of the articles cited his role in Jaws as the police chief with the immortal line, "You're gonna need a bigger boat." Fewer remember his wonderful role as a pill-popping, Bob Fosse-type choreographer in "All That Jazz." To me, "All That Jazz" was his greatest work, partly because of his quotable line, "Showtime!" but mostly because throughout the entire picture, you completely forget that the choreographer NEVER DANCES. Only a true actor can pull off a mind trick like that.

I was a big fan of SeaQuest DSV, at least I was during its first season before it got...well...bad. Scheider lent an air of respectability to the show and raised it from an uninspiring sci-fi knock-off, to a fun, fascinating, scientific, and almost complex show. When the producers started to mess with the quality and format of the show, Scheider had the good sense to leave.

I never saw his stagework, which (from what I have read) was superb. In the 80's, he costarred with Raul Julia and Blythe Danner in one of my favorite plays, Betrayal by Harold Pinter. I really, really, really hope that someone filmed his performance, and that a bootleg copy is floating around eBay somewhere. Julia, Danner, and Scheider on the stage together...it just doesn't get any better than that.

I will miss Scheider's many flawed yet extremely likeable characters. Luckily, NetFlix carries most of his works. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got some movies to add to my queue.

Note: According to his fansite, in lieu of flowers, the family requested memorial donations to the Myeloma Institute of Research and Therapy at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences.

Two Interesting Articles That Just Came Through My Email

My friend Kelly Coleman spends much of his time scanning the blogosphere daily (hourly?) and forwarding to his friends and colleagues those articles and blogs that he finds the most interesting. That the articles are all progressive in nature is totally coincidental...as is the fact that his mailing list is called the DFL Newsgroup. (For those of you outside of Minnesota, that stands for "Democratic-Farm-Labor"...but I digress...)

Today he forwarded two very interesting articles that I feel are worth passing along.

The first is an article by Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York in the Washington Post.
Predatory Lenders' Partner in Crime
For those of you (like me, I fear) who don't fully understand how the subprime lending crisis happened, he explains that the attorneys general from all 50 states tried to fight the predatory lending practices, and were completely stymied by the Bush administration. It's an interesting article from a well-respected governor.

The second article comes from P.M. Carpenter's blog.
For McCain, From Bad Dreams to Nightmares -- Courtesy Barack Obama
I like Carpenter's writings, but this article seemed to stand out above his other commentaries. He explains how McCain and the Republicans are now complaining that Obama is only mouthing platitudes...when that's EXACTLY what the Republican party has been doing for the last 60 years. It's a classic case of (and do forgive me for saying this) the pot calling the kettle black.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Talmudic Toddler

My wife Shirah reminded me this evening of an incident that happened nine years ago, when Omri was one years old. Omri wasn't speaking yet, at least not beyond, "Hi!" Most of his vocalizations were of the "Da da da da!!!" variety.

One morning, Omri decided that Mama had slept long enough, and he started voicing his opinion that she should get her lazy tuchus out of bed and come release him from the confines of the crib ("Da da da da!") Shirah staggered into his room, and groggily said, "Omri, it's WAY too early to get up." Omri very deliberately pointed at the window to show her the sunlight pouring through. Even though he couldn't yet talk, he was clearly saying, "Look at the sunlight. If there is sunlight, it must be time to get up."

Shirah later said that it was the most eloquent Talmudic argument without words that she had ever heard.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Happy Birthday Omri!

Yesterday was Omri's birthday. He is ten years old. I am now the father of a decade-old child.


I think I need to sit down now.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Happy Belated Tu B'Shevat

I tend to send a lot of belated greetings on this blog. At least this time, I have an excuse...I was out of town on business during the holiday. It really was a shame. I really was looking forward to going to our synagogue's Tu B'Shevat seder and scarfing down lots of fruit. At least I got to have some fancy fruits at a breakfast buffet at the conference I was at. It was the first time I ever actually ate dragonfruit. And this starts my new Tu B'Shevat tradition (along with making Tu B'Shevat bars...which I will post at a later date). Every Tu B'Shevat, I need to try a new tree fruit or nut...something I've never eaten before. Of course, this means that next year, I need to start browsing the produce area of Saraga International Grocery long before the holiday.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Beyond the Issues: Understanding the Candidate Through the Campaign Website

Note: In the following essay, very real-sounding numeric data is presented in an authoritative manner. Be forewarned that the IDQ percentage is completely made up without the benefit of scientific polls. Of course, New Hampshire showed us the utility of scientific polls...

Despite the fact that most American’s claim to vote on the issues, I would wager that only about 25% of the voting public chooses a presidential candidate based on the issues alone. I personally include myself in this Issue-Driven Quarter (hereafter known as the IDQ). The members of the IDQ are not swayed by trivialities, such as whether or not the candidate has experience, the candidate exudes leadership, the candidate speaks in simple platitudes, or the candidate would be a fun beer-swilling companion. We want to know what the candidate believes in. We want to know what the candidate is likely to do or not to do if elected. We want to know if the candidate will take money from the rich and give it to the poor – or vice versa.

By the time a voter gets to the general election, selecting a candidate should be pretty straightforward. Although the candidates’ political stances may be muddied by election debates, sound bites, or dirty political tricks, most candidates follow their party’s ideologies so closely that any voter still claiming to be undecided either has no opinions at all or is just not paying attention.

Primary elections are another story altogether. The candidates within a particular party can not stray ideologically too far from the group center or they risk being shunned by the party faithful...or at least the party bosses. During the primaries, the candidates walk a very fine line between claiming that they are all alike and claiming that they are all completely different. In the end, of course, they all sound pretty much alike.

The IDQ have the difficult task of trying to distinguish the candidates based on stump speeches, voting records, and sound bites. Many Web-based tools have cropped up recently to help the political junkie find his or her “perfect” candidate by asking the voter a series of political, economic, and social questions. Most recently, I found Electoral Compass USA which charts the candidates on a two-dimensional axis: economics vs. social issues. Although the Republican candidates spread out a little bit on the Electoral Compass USA map, the Democratic candidates cluster together in a tight grouping. Differences in the issues become meaningless because a true Democrat would be happy to vote for ANY of them based on the issues alone.

IDQers are left looking at (shudder) non-issue specific factors, and this goes against our very nature. How do we tell who has the most believable, understandable, motivating, and succinct message? How do we judge relative charisma and leadership appeal? How do we find the candidate least likely to start a war in the Middle East based on trumped up intelligence and incompetent staffers? Do we rely on T.V. pundits? Newspaper columnists? Bloggers? Oprah?

The answer, believe it or not, is the candidates’ own campaign Websites.

“How can that be?” I hear you say, “Aren’t campaign Websites inherently biased?” Yes. Of course. And that’s the point. Campaign Websites are marketing material, but they are enduring marketing material. As such, they have to be prepared carefully. Everything the candidate wants to get across has to be made blindingly obvious. Everything the candidate wants you to forget about has to be hidden.

It’s all about technical communication. Format, style, and audience is as important as basic content when delivering a message. Content by itself is meaningless. Content in context is key. And since the Internet is the new political medium, campaign Websites not only reflect the candidates’ personas, they also give insight into the candidates strengths and weaknesses. As an exercise, lets compare the three Democratic frontrunner sites:
John Edwards (http://www.johnedwards.com/)
Hillary Clinton (http://www.hillaryclinton.com/)
Barack Obama (http://www.barackobama.com/)

When analyzing political Websites, I have found four determinants to be particularly telling:
  • Appearance (Look and Feel)

  • Language

  • Structure

  • Audience


Appearance:

When the user hits all three candidates’ Websites for the first time, a splash page appears encouraging the user to contribute to the campaign. Although Obama’s and Edwards’ sites both show black-and-white pictures of the candidates with their families, Clinton’s site only shows Hillary’s smiling head. It’s a very interesting difference. Obama and Edwards want to remind you of their families; Clinton wants you to forget hers. This is a pragmatic move considering the perception in this country that a vote for Hillary is really just a vote for Bill. Hillary has to establish herself as an independent entity.

Moving past the splash page, the color palette of the front page is important. For example, Edwards’s site mixes red, blue, green, and pale yellow. The site appears to be going for a more folksy look with the shades of pale yellow and tan. Unfortunately, the mix of colors makes the site look too busy and not at all engaging.

Clinton’s site uses a very striking red, white, and blue. The bright colors are energizing and suggest a campaign gaining momentum. Furthermore, the patriotic color theme is stronger here than in the Websites of the other two candidates.

Obama’s site primarily uses blue and white with a little bit of red. The colors are less energizing, but they are very comfortable. Not only do you want to stay on the site and stare at the blue and white, but the message conveyed is...and I know this is trite...that Obama is “True Blue.”

The pictures on the front page are also telling. Edwards’ site features a picture of the candidate holding his son, surrounded by his family and a few supporters. Along with the text, “For the millions of unheard voices in the country,” the picture sends the message that this is the candidate of the common man and woman.

A couple of days ago, Clinton’s site showed the her facing a massive audience of supporters. Along with the text, “Let’s Make History: Keep the Momentum Going!” the image spoke of a growing “movement” of supporters, and almost, but didn’t quite, come right out and tell you to jump on the Hillary Bandwagon. Although the slogan on the site now reads, “Solutions for the American Economy,” the picture is still one of Hillary addressing a large crowd.

Obama’s site shows masses of people in silhouette, but does not show actual faces. The picture is accompanied by the headline text, “I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington...I’m asking you to believe in yours.” It is an interesting choice of image, because it asks the viewer to assume that his or her voice is represented in the mass of silhouettes. It is also a risky move, since it does not specifically reflect the viewer’s face in the crowd. The image seems to say, “Whoever you are, insert your face here.”

Language:

When analyzing Website language, assume you are a “typical” user and first look for the largest text. Whatever jumps off the page at you SHOULD be the main message. If your eyes are first drawn to the text, “CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION,” than the candidate really does not have a cohesive message.

On John Edwards’ splash page, the big text reads, “Join the Campaign to Change America.” This is such a hackneyed message as to be nearly meaningless. Since all the candidates talk about “change”, the site suggests a “me too” attitude in the candidate. “Change” has no tangible meaning. Even on the main page, Edwards’ patented “One America” slogan is lost in a sea of text. If you wait on the site long enough, the headline, “For the Millions of Unheard Voices in America,” appears in big letters. The message that Edwards is working for the common man and woman is a powerful message, but it is completely lost in the page’s rhetoric. To make matters worse, a particularly large link takes the user to Edwards’ 80-page book on One America. Who, on God’s green earth, wants to read an 80-page book about political rhetoric? We’ve got things to do...places to go...Runescape to play.

Contrast Edwards’ splash page with Obama’s: “Change We Can Believe In.” True, the requisite word “change” is mentioned, but Obama’s text immediately conveys two important messages. The word “we” immediately tells us that WE the voters are part of this change process, not just the candidate working alone. The text “believe” tells us that the change will be real, concrete change. We will know there is change. We can almost taste it. Obama’s message is then carried onto the main page with the text, “Yes, we can.” Again, we are all in this together...whatever “this” is.

Clinton has changed her Website slogan from “Help Make History: Keep the Momentum Going!” to “Solutions for the American Economy.” The first slogan invoked the gender issue, reminding the voter that she would be the first female president. The second slogan is much more pragmatic; it not only frames a national concern – the economy – but it also frames her role as a candidate – a solutions provider.

Unlike Obama’s page which is all about the voter, Clinton’s page is all about the candidate. Clinton’s campaign site says, “Hillary for President,” in big letters. It is a much more personal entreaty. Clinton wants you to know her as a PERSON, not just as an instrument of change, set of issues, or leader of a political party. “Hillary” is your buddy, your friend, your confidante. And considering that 75% of the voting public are not in the IDQ, this is likely to be a clever move.

Architecture:

As any good Web developer will tell you, the structure or architecture of a Website is a critical part of its usability. This is true for political Websites as well; Website architecture reflects the efficacy of a presidential campaign. An intuitive, easy-to-navigate site reflects a campaign with a clear message. By respecting the user experience, the candidate respects the user. A jumbled or overly-complex architecture reflects a struggling campaign.

Edwards’ front page suffers from an appalling lack of organization and architectural design. It throws much too much information onto the page without organizing it into discrete chunks. The page essentially tells the user, “All the information is here. It’s up to you to sort it out.” This is not an effective campaign strategy.

Clinton’s and Obama’s sites do a much better job of “chunking” out the information on the front page. Note, for example, how both sites clearly identify ways to support their campaigns besides contributing money. The sites differ in how much content they place above the scroll line. Clinton’s page opts for a more compact look, reducing the amount of scrolling needed to see the entire page. Obama’s page places much of the content below the scroll line to give the site a less cluttered, less content-heavy look. Obama trades in Web real estate for a longer, leaner, and – dare I say it – cleaner look. It’s a risky choice for Obama considering the perception that he is a candidate of rhetoric over substance.

Even the menu bars say something about the candidates. Clinton makes it much easier to find her stances on the issues. Scroll over the “Issues” tab and one will see actual statements instead of general topics: Strengthening the Middle Class, Ending the War in Iraq, Energy Independence & Global Warming, Fulfilling Our Promises to Veterans. With very few words, Clinton tells the user exactly where she stands and what she plans to do.

Obama’s most telling menu tab is the “People” tab. By listing different demographic groups, Obama associates himself with people more than issues. Why should I vote for Obama if I’m a veteran? Click the “veterans” link. What about if I’m bisexual? Click the GLBT link. Organizing the links in this fashion frames the candidate as a person devoted to people, not simply a person devoted to issues.

Audience:

According to Technical Writing 101 by Pringle and O’keefe (2000), “Take your audience into account, but don’t insult your readers by assuming that sprinkling a few ethnic names throughout the document will, by itself, make your document appropriate for the audience.” Likewise, by identifying the most obvious and realistic audience of the Website, one finds the true targeted constituents of the candidate.

Edwards, for example, is clearly targeting middle America. Even if you know nothing about his “Two Americas” speeches, the tagline, “For the Millions of Unheard Voices in America,” makes it clear that he sees himself as a champion for the poor. The South Carolina ad mentioning his father who worked in a mill seals this image.

Clinton’s audience is well-defined, although it changes whenever she changes her site. When I first started analyzing her site, her audience was clearly young voters. The Hillblazers (Young Leaders for Hillary in 2008) directs the user to the “Ask Hillary: Watch Hillary Answer Your Questions” video. This video combines scenes of young culturally diverse voters praising Hillary with scenes of Hillary answering questions posted on the Internet.

Clinton’s recent changes to her site also appear to target lower and middle income families. “Hillary’s Plan to Jumpstart the Economy” is not original in its concept, but the wording and pictures on the site clearly position her as a candidate who will provide government solutions to the problems of the poor and disenfranchised.

Obama’s Website is a harder nut to crack. The target audience appears to be...the entire country. Instead of focusing on specific constituents, he invites all demographic groups to help him “bring about real change in Washington.” If his tactic works, it’s a powerful strategy in that his target audience is very broad, including gays, veterans, people-of-faith, and environmentalists...to list but a few.


Final Analysis:

It is vitally important to understand that a Website analysis does NOT give the voter an in depth look of a candidate's political profile. Obama's political stances are just as well thought out and reasoned as are Clinton's, possibly even more so. In fact, all three of candidates have clearly stated plans for Iraq, the economy, and social issues. The Website analysis simply tells us how well the candidate COMMUNICATES this.

The analysis is also useful in that it sidesteps the argumentative rhetoric and he-said/she-said bickering so common during an election cycle. Do you really want to base your presidential choice on a 30-second sound bite taken out of context?

In summary:

Obama’s message, “I’m asking you to believe,” resonates throughout the site. Obama asks you to see him as a straight-talking, true-blue candidate who will work WITH the American people to bring about change in Washington. Obama’s candidacy is not about Obama...it’s about YOU.

Clinton’s message, “Solutions for the American Economy,” is a bit more expedient than Obama’s, although it is clearly stated and clearly communicated. Clinton asks you to see her as a “solutions” person, a candidate whose years of experience are critical for bringing real change to Washington. However, Clinton, much more than Obama, wants you to know her as a person. Clinton wants you to know the real Hillary.

Edwards’ message, “One America,” could be much more effective if Edwards could broaden its target appeal and focus his image. Unfortunately, Edwards has clearly defined his target audience to the exclusion of other audiences. Furthermore, his poorly organized Website, along with his prominent link to an 80-page book, presents him as a candidate with plenty of good ideas but a lack of a clear vision.

One last note: John Edwards gives real estate on his Website to his wife and oldest daughter Cate in the hopes that we might understand him through his family. While a noble gesture, this may have been his worst move yet. I’m just a wee bit concerned that Cate listed The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath as one of her favorite books.

And we thought the Bush girls were trouble.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My Favorite Indian Restaurant in Indianapolis

According to IndyEthnicFood.com, the Indianapolis metro area has 12 Indian restaurants (11 really since India Garden has two locations). I have eaten in 8 out of the 11 restaurants, and I have not had a bad meal in any of them. That's pretty good for a midwestern city. How many other cities outside of Mumbai can boast a MINIMUM competence rate of 73% when it comes to Indian food.

However, I have my favorites. In fact, I have my favorite, and it is definitely Taj of India. The restaurant serves east Indian fare. The average entree costs $8-$12, and the lunch buffet is $6.60 per person.

The food is fantastic, the portions are large, the vegetarian entrees are many (I've counted close to 25), and the restaurant feels...well...friendly. There is no other word for it but friendly. I feel more comfortable there then in any other Indian restaurant in town, largely because of the soft lighting, authentic Indian music, and unpretentious attitude. And, of course, the food. Oh, yes...the food...

My wife insists that we go there (or get takeout from there) whenever possible. Malai Kofta is her favorite dish, and she insists that they make the best malai kofta in town. Tonight she insisted that I drive across town to Taj of India after I picked up Omri from Hebrew School (even though it wasn't the closest restaurant to the school or to our house) because she was craving some "comfort food."

Of course, I have to admit that we also love the restaurant because Rani, our favorite waitress, works there. It's not just that she's always friendly, it's not just that she's very cute, it's not just that she can recognize me on the phone whenever I put in an order, it's not just that she knows our order by heart:
malai kofta mild for Shirah, paneer pakora for the boys, one order of garlic naan, and something medium spicy for me...usually palak paneer. Oh, and 2 mango shakes.
No, it's not any one of those things. It's all of those things combined.

I highly, highly recommend the restaurant. Please say namaste to Rani when you're there.

And tip her well.