Happy Birthday, Omri!

Happy Birthday, Omri! Mazel Tov on turning nine! I’m not sure I’m ready to be a parent of a nine-year old. I mean, I remember being nine like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t remember yesterday too well these days.

I turned nine way back in 1977. That was before Runescape. That was before the Internet. That was before digital cameras, cell phones, CDs, and DVDs. Nobody (except for my mother) worried about second-hand smoke, trans fats, nitrites in hot dogs, and undercooked meat. It’s amazing that any of us survived at all. Most of us didn’t. Those of us who did are still alive but very grumpy.

There were only three major T.V. networks. I watched Welcome Back Kotter (and did bad impressions of Horschack), Barney Miller, MASH, Rhoda, Phyllis, Maude, Quincy, Holmes & Yoyo, Alice (and did bad impressions of Flo), Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Charlie’s Angels, Good Times (and did really bad impressions of J.J.), the Jeffersons, Little House on the Prairie, The Six Million Dollar Man (and ran in slow motion), and the Bionic Woman. And that was only the primetime shows.

On Saturday mornings, Schoolhouse Rock taught all about math, English, and U.S. History. The Superfriends, Fat Albert, and Scooby Doo taught us about life.

Even amidst all that T.V., I read books. My favorite was Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, the Judy Blume book about a 9-year old who has a bratty 2-year old brother. It was a hit with ALL older brothers.

I didn’t listen to the radio much, but I do remember hearing We Are the Champions (Queen), Slip Slidin’ Away (Paul Simon), and Short People (Randy Newman). I didn’t particularly like the song Short People, considering that I was about 5 inches shorter than you are now. My friends liked the song, though, and sang it to me all the time.

Two other wonderful songs, Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffett) and Hotel California (Eagles), came out that year, but I didn’t know about them till many years later.

I started Hebrew School that year. Mrs. Zar (o.b.m.) was my teacher. I learned the Alef Bet, Hebrew vocabulary, and how to pronounce Sefardic Hebrew with a thick Polish accent. We loved her dearly and miss her terribly.

Mr. Christine was my 4th grade teacher. He was young (I realize now), energetic, idealistic, and loved to do science demonstrations in class. Naturally I liked him a lot.

Yes, Omri, that was my 9th year. It was a simpler time back then, or at least it seems so in my memories. I'm sure it didn't seem particularly simple at the time.

I can’t wait to see what you write to your son 29 years from now on his 9th birthday. Please email me a copy. Better yet, send it directly to my bio-psionic implant. I’ll turn off the spam filter.

The American War Against Science

I really wish I could blame the Bush Administration for this country's war against science. I would like to believe that the president is solely responsible for sending our country back to the Dark Ages. Unfortunately, the cynic in me knows that our country is an enabler for any leader willing to show mule-headed belligerence toward reason, thought, and the scientific process.

How else can you explain that none of the major news sources have picked up on the story mentioned in yesterday's Doonesbury?

According to Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, "Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees." According to PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch, "In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology. It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.’”

Please tell me this is an Onion hoax. Please let me wake up tomorrow to a world actively trying to enter the 21st Century instead to the 18th Century.

If you need me, I'll be hiding under the bed with my copy of Darwin's "The Origin of the Species".

Spanikopita Pie

Pies are tricky things. My mother-in-law makes some of the best pies I've ever tasted, and I make a point of watching her every time she makes pie crust. I've learned some of her tricks, such as use ice cold water (yes, the recipe in your cook book was serious about that), cut in the fat with a pastry cutter, and handle the dough as little as possible. Once you've mastered the art of a good pie crust, the sky is the limit.

I came up with a new recipe the other day for spanikopita pie. It's a very simple concept: spanikopita...in a pie shell. The great thing about the recipe is that both my kids will eat it, and one of them will even eat it eagerly. I think this is a first for any spinach dish I've made for them.

Needless to say, I'll have to make it again soon.

8 " pie crust:
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening
4 Tbs. ice water

1 10oz. package of frozen spinach
1/2 lb. feta cheese
4 eggs
1 Tbs. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. dill

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Prepare the pie crust by mixing the salt and flour together and cutting in the shortening. Sprinkle with ice water and toss with a fork. Gather dough into a ball, wrap in waxed paper, and refrigerate at least a half hour. Roll ball of dough into flat circle and place in pie plate.

Thaw spinach and squeeze out water. Add other filling ingredients and mix together. Pour into pie shell.

Bake at 450 degrees for 5-10 minutes to set crust, then reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake for 30-40 minutes until set.