Announcing the Official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Birthday Ride

I am so proud of myself. This past weekend, I biked 14 miles up and down the Monon Trail in Indianapolis. Yeah, sure, I know. A third of you are saying, "Only 14 miles? So, what? I eat 14 miles for breakfast." The other third are saying, "Are you NUTS? At YOUR age?" And then there's that third third who are saying, "Nice job! You go, dude! We are SO proud of you!"

The rest of this blog is for this last segment of the population. The rest of you can go eat your 14 mile breakfast someplace else.

Of course, I am feeling it. Oy, am I feeling it. My posterior is, shall we say, rather saddle sore. I was already feeling sore last Wednesday at Krav Maga class when our teachers, in an effort to train us how to do roll falls the correct way, took us outside to practice on the pavement. The good news is that my previous Aikido training from a decade ago kicked in, and my roll falls were flawless. The bad news is that I am nearing 40. Generally speaking, the untrained 40-year old body does not like to do roll falls on the pavement followed by 14 miles of torture to your tush on an uncomfortable bike seat.

Yes, you heard it right folks. I'm nearing the big 4-0, a.k.a. my second 39th birthday. August 13. Mark it on your Outlook calendars now.

About a month ago, some lovely ladies from my high school graduating class sent out an email informing all of their friends that they were celebrating turning 40 by participating in a 100 mile bike ride in California to raise money for some disease state or another...diabetes or breast cancer or coronary disease. I honestly can't remember. That's not the point. The point is that these ladies are meeting their midlife by pushing their bodies to the limit. They are embracing their age with a show of strength and endurance. They are telling the world that they are still fit, fetching, and fabulous. They are making me look really, really, really bad.

Even if I wanted to join them in California, there is no way I could whip my body back into shape for a 100 mile ride by August 13. Sure, I've lost 15 lbs. in the past three months. Sure, I've built up some muscle by going to Krav Maga twice a week. Sure, I regularly exercise my stomach muscles by lying on the floor and letting my children jump on me. But 100 miles? Nobody eats 100 miles for breakfast.

I figure that the best I can do is 30 miles. That's twice the length of the Monon Trail in Indianapolis and Carmel. I think that with some practice runs and a more comfortable bike seat, I can easily tackle the Monon. In fact, I'm setting Saturday, August 16, as the official day for the official Zev Winicur Monon Milestone Birthday Ride.

You are all invited to join me, of course. In fact, I would love the company. Nothing provides incentive for a massive physical endeavor than someone else alongside you preventing you from wussing out. I plan to start at the Frank and Judy O'Bannon Old Northside Soccer Park at 9:00am at 16th Street and Lewis Street, bike south for 0.25 miles to the start of the Monon Trail, bike north for 15 miles until we hit 146th Street, bike back down south to our waiting vehicles, and then drink two entire canteens of water. If you come, bring your own water and sunblock. And bike. And cushy bikeseat.

Afterwards, we can all go out for beer at some nice local establishment, such as the Broad Ripple Brewpub. The first round is on me, but only if you all agree to order a GOOD beer. I'm not about to pay for your Bud or Miller Lite. I'm not going to have you embarrassing me. This is serious business, and life is way too short to drink that swill. Besides, let's face it...I'm not getting any younger.