One Night with the King

A couple of nights ago, I saw One Night with the King, a movie about the Book of Esther. Well, actually, the movie is based on the novel Hadassah: One Night with the King, by Tommy Tenney. But, since I've never read the book, nor do I plan to, I can only comment on the movie.

To be fair, I had ulterior motives in seeing the movie, and believe it or not, they were not Tiffany Dupont (seen on the left). Purim is the underdog of Jewish holidays. It's fun, it's raucous, it's frivolous, it's deeply philosophical, it's family-oriented, and you are commanded to get drunk. In Israel, it borders on Mardi Gras or Carnivale. In the U.S., it borders on obscurity. It just doesn't have the calendar real estate of Chanukah...you know, right next to Christmas. Frankly, it deserves much better than that, and I take every oppportunity to push my Purim agenda. Consider me a Purim champion.

So, naturally I jump at any movie that promotes, advertises, or in any way exposes Purim to the greater goyische public. Even if it simply retells a Biblical story. Even if it's made by Gener8xion Entertainment, a Christian company, with (potentially) an agenda separate from mine.

Back to the movie. Well, the movie could have been worse. That's not a ringing endorsement, but it's also not a scathing indictment. As a movie, it's not bad. It creates an entertaining love story out of an Biblical tale, and makes you believe that Esther's life is truly on the line as she goes to plead King Ahasuerus (well...Xerxes in the movie) for the lives of her people. Tiffany Dupont plays a spunky, buoyant Esther, and she is Jewish-looking enough to pull off the role. John Rhys-Davies as Mordechai is...well...John Rhys-Davies. He looks and sounds like Mordechai should sound, although you do keep expecting him to burst out with "Indy, my friend!" (a la Raiders of the Lost Ark). James Callis plays a suitably vengeful and evil Haman who hates the Jews with a passion due to the wrongs the Hebrews done to his people 500 years earlier. Yeah, it's nasty stuff, right out of the Bible.

The sets are gorgeous, the acting is decent, and, most importantly, the dialog is not as stilted as one would expect from a Biblical movie. I did like the fact that the movie was RELATIVELY faithful to the original story (the Bible, not the novel). Considering that the novel was written by a Pentecostal evangelist, I was not expecting a very faithful treatment of the material...or at least not a Jewish treatment.

However, the movie (or the novel) tries to turn the story into Midrash by adding some bizarre back story about a pending war with Greece. This would have worked better if the movie hadn't muddied the waters by mixing up some key plot elements in the story. I could just see fans of the original book shouting at the screen, "No, you fools! Mordechai hears about the decree AFTER refusing to bow down. After! After! After!" And of course, it has to add some typical Hollywood elements of mistaken identity and fear of infidelity.

For some reason, all of the secondary characters are played by Indians. It used to be that Italians and Jews were interchangeable in Hollywood. I guess in Biblical epics, Indians and Jews are interchangeable. I would have loved to see Aishwarya Rai play Esther. But anyway...

I guess my biggest beef is that I still have not seen a movie based on the Book of Esther that is truly faithful to the story. The story of Purim is one of the hottest, raciest, most exciting books of the Bible filled with vanity, honor, vengeance, love, bravery, and, of course, clan warfare. It doesn't need a Hollywood treatment.

But keep Tiffany.

The Yearly T'ruah

The Yearly T'ruah, our family newsletter, is finally finished. I sent it out to most of my family and friends, so if you did not receive a copy, this means that a) we did not send you one, b) we sent you one (with our best wishes for a new year) but it got lost in the mail, or c) we sent you one (with our best wishes for a new year) but silly us...we sent it to the wrong address.

In other words, we are only admitting to options b) and c). However, I am willing to send a copy to anyone who requests it on an opt-in basis.

If you did not receive a copy, possibly suggesting that we do not have your most recent contact information, please drop me a line, and tell me where you are now, what you are doing, etc., etc., etc.

And Happy Gregorian New Year.

Happy Low Salt Chanukah!

My mother came to visit this weekend for Chanukah. She is on a low salt diet, which always makes going out to restaurants a bit of challenge. However, we promised her that everything I cooked at home would be as low in salt as possible. Since Saturday night was designated "Latke Night," I had to come up with a tasty low-salt latke recipe.

Now one tack is to add savory spices to the latkes to create a new latke entity. Possibilities include:

Indian spices - curry powder, cumin, garam masala

Mexican spices - chili powder and picante

Italian spices - basil, oregano, thyme

Dill and mint

Now that I think about it, I should have tried dill, mint, parsley, and onion powder. The onion powder would give it a rounder, saltier flavor to balance out the bitterness of the dill. And hopefully, this could all be done without any added salt.

However, I didn't try any of the above. Instead, I substituted half of the russet potatoes with sweet potatoes. This gives the latke a slightly sweet dimension that makes up for much of the missing salt without making the whole dish noticeably sweet. One caveat...sweet potatoes do not bind together like russet potatoes, so you need to make sure you have enough egg in the mixture to hold everything together. I think the only way to make the dish using only sweet potatoes (and no white potatoes) is to add extra egg. Furthermore, it helps if you squeeze and shape the patties before frying them instead of simply ladling the potato mixture into the oil (which you can do if you only use white potatoes).

I must say that the latkes came out pretty well. Or at least I thought so. Shirah took a bite and immediately reached for the salt. The kids put ketchup on them. Of course, they put ketchup on everything. That's what happens when you are born in Minnesota. But I digress...

Yesterday at religious school, I taught the 5th graders how to make latkes. It was an interesting experiment in project management: trying to distribute tasks among 20 10-year olds. I divided up the room into four tables: two tables grated potatoes, one chopped onions, and one mixed the egg, matzah meal, and salt together. We only had one "grating" injury requiring a Band-aid (well, a couple of Band-aids in rapid succession) which really wasn't too bad considering that these were young children wielding sharp knives with a 1:7 adult:child ratio.

Personally, I thought the recipe had WAY too much salt in it. I'm not sure whether the kids read the recipe wrong, or if they read the recipe correctly and I just need to adjust the 2 tsp. to 1 tsp. However, my wife tried one later in the day. She commented, "They were really good. I noticed that they tasted a little different from the ones you make at home...but I couldn't pinpoint the difference."

"They had salt in them," I told her evenly.

"Ah..." she said with a voice that suddenly understood every dish I ever made in the past ten years.

I'm going to buy her a salt lick for the 8th night of Chanukah.

The Land of Curiosities

My sister Paula is a graphic designer in Chicago, andshe has art directed an interesting children's novel called The Land of Curiosities, Adventures in Yellowstone, 1871-1872. It is the first in a series created by The EcoSeekers that teaches awareness andhopes to inspire activism in children about the environment.

Paula forwarded me a message from authors Dave and Dee Neil:

Hello family, friends, colleagues, and other people we like, We are proud to announce the launch of ourcompany’s website, www.theecoseekers.com, and our first book, THE LAND OF CURIOSITIES: Adventures inYellowstone, 1871-1872.

This is the first book in a collection of stories about defining events and themes in the history of the environmental movement as told through the experiences of courageous young fictional characters.

In a good ol' Western adventure, THE LAND OF CURIOSITIES revolves around the creation of Yellowstone as the world's first national park in 1872. Geared towards ages 8 and up (and loved by adults too), the book includes a 16-page real history section for educators and the curious.

We are particularly excited by the very positive responses we have received thus far, from kids and adults. Endorsements include Robert F. Kennedy Jr.,U.S. Senator Dick Durbin, and Nell Newman.

Take a look at our website http://www.theecoseekers.com/ and help spread the word. And, naturally, feel free to buy as many books as you’d like (they make great holiday gifts)!


PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL along to others. We’d greatly appreciate your doing so. We hope to hear from you soon. The brother-sister team of….
- Dave and Dee Neil

P.S. In case we have not spoken in a while… Last year,we created a company called The EcoSeekers™ to educate and engage kids in the environmental movement through our branded entertainment, products and online community. Our goal is to achieve the level of influence and success of American Girl and HarryPotter, but for the environment. We're a publishing company and more!

...Or Maybe Stick With Google During Chanukah

IN REGARDS TO YESTERDAY'S POST...

Shortly after I bragged to you all about Ask.com's Chanukah skin, they apparently pulled the skin from the site. So, now Ask.com has no reference to Chanukah whatsoever on the front page.

I give up. I'm going back to Google. And while I'm at it, I'm going to eat some trans fats.

Use Ask.com During Chanukah

Chag Sameah, y'all. Happy Chanukah.

I went to Google's Website this morning to see if my favorite search engine...you know, the one cofounded by a Russian Jew...had any mention of the first day of Chanukah on its front page. Considering all the esoteric holidays that Google acknowledges, Chanukah was a pretty safe bet.

Nada. Zilch. Rien. Efes. Null value.

Ask.com, on the other hand, has a wonderful Chanukah-themed image as a background. So, I'm making a resolution this Chanukah to switch from Google to Ask.com in protest. I encourage you to do the same. Support multiculturalism and use Ask.com. Protest the great Antiochus of Google (let's not forget the whole Google China incident) by boycotting Google.

The Maccabis have spoken.

And Then it was Thanksgiving

I did have great intentions of writing our family newsletter, the Yearly T'ruah, back in September. I was all set to go...but then I had to go and break my left pinky finger. Technically, I could still type. But when you spend 9-10 hours of your day furiously typing reports at work with your left hand in splint, you lose all enthusiasm for cranking out a typed newsletter once you get home.

So, now that my hand is no longer splinted, and my pinky is healing nicely, I have grand intentions of getting The T'ruah out before Chanukah. Of course, calling it the T'ruah doesn't make much sense anymore...but that's the way the oil burns.

But now it is Thanksgiving. Well, okay, now it is a couple of days AFTER Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law hosted the family dinner this year, taking over the tradition long held by my parents-in-law. My sister-in-law was excited about taking on the responsibility, and my in-laws were ECSTATIC about dumping it on her.

Of course, we followed my in-laws other family tradition and split up the cooking so that no one person was saddled with feeding an army.

One of my contributions was the vegetarian stuffing. Many years ago, I convinced my father-in-law that homemade stuffing was MUCH better than Pepperidge Farm's stuffing, so now I get to make it every year. Of course, I make a vegetarian stuffing which is served separately in a pan. Besides, even for those omnivores who insist on eating turkey and other animal flesh for Thanksgiving, it is much safer to eat the stuffing separately as many food studies have shown.

So, here is my recipe for Vegetarian Thanksgiving Stuffing:

1 pan cornbread
7 slices oven-dried white (or whole wheat) bread
2 cups celery
1 cup onion
1 tsp. sage
1 Tbs. poultry seasoning (or similar spice mixture)
5-7 cups vegetarian broth
4-8 Tbs. butter, melted
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Saute celery and onion in a little oil.

In a bowl, crumble together cornbread and oven dried bread. Add sauteed vegetables and spices, and mix together. Pour in broth and butter. Bake in greased pan for 30-45 minutes.

L'Shanah Tovah

L'Shanah Tovah, y'all. May you all find health, happiness, and prosperity in the new year...in that order.

"Accidentally"?

Yesterday, my wife sent me the following email regarding Micah, our 5-year old:

Words I never expected to hear while being presented with a half-eaten peanut butter sandwich: "Mama, can I throw this away? I accidentally washed it."

Cue spit take. I'm at a loss for words.

New Toy

I recently fell into some birthday money (my birthday is August 13...mark it on your calendars folks), so I decided to actually buy something for ME. Rarely do I get to do that these days other than lunches out and the occasional kitchen gadget. I finally broke down and bought an MP3 player. I feel like I've finally joined the 1990s.

I followed PCMag.com's recommendations and bought a Sansa Express. It's a tiny little thing with 1GB of memory, but it's a great MP3 player, and it's at least a third of the cost of the Apple iPod Nano. It basically gives you all the basic functions: music, FM radio, voice recording, and FM recording. Furthermore, the USB port is directly attached to it, so you can plug it directly into your computer to charge it up and upload/download songs.

What's amazing/amusing is I remember my first portable Sony CD player that I bought $10 years ago for $100. This cost half that. Of course portable CD players now cost one-quarter that.

So, if you need me, I'll be plugged in to my new toy...probably listening to Kevin Mohl and the Burning Sensation.

National Junior Tennis League

I can't say enough about the National Junior Tennis League, a program founded in 1969, "as a way to gain and hold the attention of young people in the inner cities and other poor environments so that we can teach them about matters more important than tennis….Through tennis, lives can be changed and spirits reclaimed." Not being a tennis player...or previously having much interest in tennis...I had never heard of the program before. I strongly encourage other parents to check out the program, even if your kids have no tennis ability whatsoever.

We signed Omri up this summer for tennis lessons at the National Junior Tennis League of Indianapolis. I was looking for summer programs for Omri, and a friend of mine turned me onto the NJTL program. Luckily for me, she told me about the program about two days before the application deadline.

Omri is a complete tennis beginner. His only previous experience with tennis was running around on a public tennis court and trying to hit a tennis ball a couple of years ago with a racket I bought from Goodwill for about $2. However, Omri really enjoyed the program, and he did pretty well...for a beginning player. More importantly, it got him out of the house for about 2-4 hours per week interacting in the sunshine with other kids his age.

Even better...the program is very cheap. Depending on the location you choose, the cost is $25-$45 for an 8-week program.

So, depending on whether or not I can convince Omri to go to summer camp next year, we will most likely sign him up again. He loved playing tennis, we loved that he got some fresh air, and my wallet loved holding onto just a little more green stuff.

Munna Bhai

I'm back. Three months is a long time to let a blog go fallow. Sorry about that...

I must recommend two Bollywood movies I recently viewed: "Munna Bhai" and "Lage Raho Munna Bhai". Sanjay Dutt stars in both movies, and although I must admit that I haven't been a particularly huge Sanjay Dutt fan, I like him a lot more after these movies. Dutt, from what I've seen, usually plays the kindly oaf who either gets the girl at the end (because he's just too nice) or gives up the girl in the end (because he knows she loves someone else...and he's just too nice) and looks absolutely morose throughout the entire process. His character in the Munna Bhai movies, however, is that of a small time hood who has to convince his family and friends that he is either a doctor (1st movie) or a history professor specializing in Ghandi (2nd movie). Wacky hijinks ensue. Netflix can give a better plot synopsis for you.

Gracy Singh stars as his love interest in the first. You may remember her as the extremely cute love interest in "Lagaan", which is an absolute must-see for anyone looking for a good introduction to Bollywood films. Lagaan has a wonderful sound track, an exciting storyline, and is possibly the only film in the history of cinema to make the sport Cricket actually interesting.

But I digress...Vidya Balan is the love interest in the second film. Like most Bollywood actresses, she is impossibly beautiful...but she is also very entertaining. And like the main character in the film, I was becoming entranced by her shouting, "Good Morning, Mumbai!" But enough of that.

Arshad Warsi, who plays "Circuit", Munnabhai's sidekick, is very funny. As far as I can tell, he seems to be making a career of second tier character actors. If anyone knows of any movies that showcase him better, please let me know.

I just read that Lage Raho Munna Bhai" did very well at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival, and has been praised in India for promoting "Ghandiism". Cool.

But of course one mustn't forget the requisite song and dance numbers, of which there are plenty. And there pretty good. The songs from both movies are very catchy, and it was a long time before I stopped humming "Munna Bhai MBBS."

Oh, terrific. Now I'm humming it again. Damn.

Blue-Yellow Swirled Cornbread

I finally have a new job (details to come in a later post), so I felt like celebrating tonight. However, Omri and Shirah were too tired to go out to eat, and we were out of any alcoholic beverage. Not much of a celebration. So, I had to settle with making a nice comfort food dinner of corn bread, black-eyed peas, and fried okra. I even got creative with the corn bread and used both yellow and blue cornmeal. I made up two separate batches and swirled them together. I recommend you try it. It's not much more work than a single batch, and it makes a unique and visually arresting cornbread. And the world definitely needs more visually arresting...cornbread.

Note: I'm not including the recipe since the cannister of cornmeal has a cornbread recipe on the side. However, I add 2 Tbs of ground flax seed to boost the omega-3 fatty acids.

Yes, folks, there you have it. Visually arresting cornbread with omega-3 fatty acids. I think we're no longer talking "comfort food".

Root and Tuber Kugel

Last weekend I catered a lunch for the Sisterhood Shabbat at our synagogue. We had a nice bagel lunch with cheese platter, hummus, cream cheese, green salad, kugels, and dessert. No one seemed to notice that we didn't have lox with the bagels and cream cheese. That, of course, was no accident. It was all part of my diabolical "vegetarian agenda" to convert the masses. Just you wait, I'll make vegetarians out of them yet.

I received rave reviews for a kugel recipe I invented. I call it the Root and Tuber Kugel because it has both roots (carrots and sweet potatoes) and tubers (white potatoes). Besides, it just so darn fun to say "Root 'n Tuber Kugel."

Ingredients:
3 large Idaho potatoes
1 large sweet potato
3 large carrots
1 medium onion, diced
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 tsp. salt
fresh ground pepper
1/4 cup potato starch
3/4 cup boiling water

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Grate potatoes and carrots using the fine (smallest holes) disc in the food processor.
Squeeze out liquid and place in a large mixing bowl.
Stir in eggs, 5 tbsp. oil, salt, pepper and onions.
Sprinkle starch on top.
Pour boiling water over starch and stir thoroughly.
Coat a 9x13 baking pan with cooking spray and carefully pour mixture into pan.
Bake for 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, reduce heat to 400 degrees and bake for 40 minutes or until the top is a deep golden brown.

Happy Birthday, Omri!

Happy Birthday, Omri! Mazel Tov on turning nine! I’m not sure I’m ready to be a parent of a nine-year old. I mean, I remember being nine like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t remember yesterday too well these days.

I turned nine way back in 1977. That was before Runescape. That was before the Internet. That was before digital cameras, cell phones, CDs, and DVDs. Nobody (except for my mother) worried about second-hand smoke, trans fats, nitrites in hot dogs, and undercooked meat. It’s amazing that any of us survived at all. Most of us didn’t. Those of us who did are still alive but very grumpy.

There were only three major T.V. networks. I watched Welcome Back Kotter (and did bad impressions of Horschack), Barney Miller, MASH, Rhoda, Phyllis, Maude, Quincy, Holmes & Yoyo, Alice (and did bad impressions of Flo), Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Charlie’s Angels, Good Times (and did really bad impressions of J.J.), the Jeffersons, Little House on the Prairie, The Six Million Dollar Man (and ran in slow motion), and the Bionic Woman. And that was only the primetime shows.

On Saturday mornings, Schoolhouse Rock taught all about math, English, and U.S. History. The Superfriends, Fat Albert, and Scooby Doo taught us about life.

Even amidst all that T.V., I read books. My favorite was Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, the Judy Blume book about a 9-year old who has a bratty 2-year old brother. It was a hit with ALL older brothers.

I didn’t listen to the radio much, but I do remember hearing We Are the Champions (Queen), Slip Slidin’ Away (Paul Simon), and Short People (Randy Newman). I didn’t particularly like the song Short People, considering that I was about 5 inches shorter than you are now. My friends liked the song, though, and sang it to me all the time.

Two other wonderful songs, Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffett) and Hotel California (Eagles), came out that year, but I didn’t know about them till many years later.

I started Hebrew School that year. Mrs. Zar (o.b.m.) was my teacher. I learned the Alef Bet, Hebrew vocabulary, and how to pronounce Sefardic Hebrew with a thick Polish accent. We loved her dearly and miss her terribly.

Mr. Christine was my 4th grade teacher. He was young (I realize now), energetic, idealistic, and loved to do science demonstrations in class. Naturally I liked him a lot.

Yes, Omri, that was my 9th year. It was a simpler time back then, or at least it seems so in my memories. I'm sure it didn't seem particularly simple at the time.

I can’t wait to see what you write to your son 29 years from now on his 9th birthday. Please email me a copy. Better yet, send it directly to my bio-psionic implant. I’ll turn off the spam filter.

The American War Against Science

I really wish I could blame the Bush Administration for this country's war against science. I would like to believe that the president is solely responsible for sending our country back to the Dark Ages. Unfortunately, the cynic in me knows that our country is an enabler for any leader willing to show mule-headed belligerence toward reason, thought, and the scientific process.

How else can you explain that none of the major news sources have picked up on the story mentioned in yesterday's Doonesbury?

According to Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, "Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees." According to PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch, "In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology. It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.’”

Please tell me this is an Onion hoax. Please let me wake up tomorrow to a world actively trying to enter the 21st Century instead to the 18th Century.

If you need me, I'll be hiding under the bed with my copy of Darwin's "The Origin of the Species".

Spanikopita Pie

Pies are tricky things. My mother-in-law makes some of the best pies I've ever tasted, and I make a point of watching her every time she makes pie crust. I've learned some of her tricks, such as use ice cold water (yes, the recipe in your cook book was serious about that), cut in the fat with a pastry cutter, and handle the dough as little as possible. Once you've mastered the art of a good pie crust, the sky is the limit.

I came up with a new recipe the other day for spanikopita pie. It's a very simple concept: spanikopita...in a pie shell. The great thing about the recipe is that both my kids will eat it, and one of them will even eat it eagerly. I think this is a first for any spinach dish I've made for them.

Needless to say, I'll have to make it again soon.

8 " pie crust:
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup shortening
4 Tbs. ice water

1 10oz. package of frozen spinach
1/2 lb. feta cheese
4 eggs
1 Tbs. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. dill

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Prepare the pie crust by mixing the salt and flour together and cutting in the shortening. Sprinkle with ice water and toss with a fork. Gather dough into a ball, wrap in waxed paper, and refrigerate at least a half hour. Roll ball of dough into flat circle and place in pie plate.

Thaw spinach and squeeze out water. Add other filling ingredients and mix together. Pour into pie shell.

Bake at 450 degrees for 5-10 minutes to set crust, then reduce heat to 350 degrees F and bake for 30-40 minutes until set.